


Love Him Right

by Justkillingtimewhileiwait



Category: Chicago PD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-06-04 23:26:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6680179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justkillingtimewhileiwait/pseuds/Justkillingtimewhileiwait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So a couple months ago some tumblr peeps were talking about linstead puppies, and then I got some Anon requests to write a Linstead puppy one shot. So I started writing this thinking I'd put it in Aftermath. Now I'm realizing it doesn't fit, but it's also a little more than a one shot. So let's call it a Linstead puppy fluff short story.  It's set early in season 3, after linstead is back together. Hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Erin was pouting and she didn't care. Hank kept glancing at her from his seat behind the wheel. "You gonna pout like a toddler the whole way back?"

"Yes." 

He shook his head. "You're being ridiculous."

"Why? Because I care?"

"No because you know damn well you have no time in your life for a puppy."They'd just taken down a money laundering ring and when they'd searched the house they found a chocolate Rottweiler puppy chained in the basement. It was clear the poor thing had been mistreated. It had growled and whined warning everyone off but when Erin finally got close it had climbed into her lap and licked her face. She fell in love. She had wanted to take it to the vet herself and then take it home. Hank had put an end to that plan fast. 

"But Hank."She whined.

"I told you, you want to play house by all means but you can't do that in this unit."

"It's not playing house Hank. It's a dog."

"Yeah and a dog needs attention and walks and care. You gonna bail in the middle of an all night stake out because that puppy needs to pee?"

"They're going to kill it." She barked at him. She couldn't believe Hank was being so heartless.

"Erin. Your being dramatic. I called Animal control. They took it to the shelter, they will get it cleaned up. It's cute, it's young. They'll find a good home for it."

"You don't know that. The shelters are over crowded and underfunded. They put animals down if they can't place them fast. And he's got injuries and a clipped ear. Who knows what that bastard did to him. You think someone else is gonna know how to love him right?" Erin could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't know what had over come her. She only knew that she felt a connection to that damn dog, like they somehow understood each other.

"Erin," Hank cautioned. "What would you do with him all day?"

"He could come to the district." Hank cut her a sideways look. "We could get him a bed and food and he could stay in the roll up while we work. I'd take him out for a walk on a break. Take him home with me at night. He'll be a big dog. I'll have him trained. You're always worried about my safety. I'd be safer with a big dog like that." She bargained. 

"Erin it's a police station not puppy daycare. I seriously doubt higher ups would approve."

"They wouldn't even question it if you and Platt okayed it." Erin shot back. 

"That's not going to happen. I'm not gonna have a dog running around my district." Erin crossed her arms over her chest and went back to pouting out the window. It just wasn't fair. 

"What good am I if I can't even save a damn dog?" She mumbled under her breath. She'd no idea Hank had actually heard that last remark. 

When they got back to the district Erin jumped from the escalade and walked directly to her car. She heard Hank call after her but ignored him. He didn't deserve a good bye and fuck the paper work, it would still be there in the morning. It was late. She was tired. She was going home. 

She drove in silence and was lucky enough to find parking near the door of her apartment building. Her feet felt like cement blocks as she trudged up the stairs, a picture of the puppy's sad eyes as animal control had loaded it into their truck stuck in her head. She unlocked her door and entered, kicking off her boots and letting her go bag drop to the hall floor. She sulked down the hallway. A beer, that's what she needed. Fuck, really Erin? A beer? Over a stupid dog? She scolded herself. 

As she came into her living room she was startled to see Jay perched casually on the arm of her couch, beer in hand waiting for her. "Hey, I had Antonio drop me here, you looked kinda upset when you left I thought...." 

Jay didn't have a chance to finish his sentence. Erin flung herself at him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck. Jay grabbed at the couch to steady himself, the force she'd hit him with causing him to loose balance on the arm of the couch. Once righted he put his beer on the floor and wrapped his arms around her. 

"What's wrong?" He cooed softly into her hair. 

"It's nothing, it's stupid," she said lifting her head and swiping tears away. "Forget it, Hank's right. I'm just being ridiculous." She said and went to move away but Jay held her in place between his legs. 

"Is it that puppy?" He asked. Erin shrugged. Jay smiled and ran his fingers down her cheek. He let out a little laugh "since when do you get emotional over animals?" Jay asked, bewildered. 

Erin didn't like being made fun of. She pushed hard against Jay's chest to release herself from his hold. "Forget it," she said. 

Jay cursed. "Erin, Erin," he gently grabbed her arm. "Hey, I'm sorry. come here. Talk to me." She stared at his hand for a moment then looked up at his face. He was being sincere. 

"I don't need to be made fun of. I already heard enough from Hank."

"I know. I'm sorry." he tugged her closer and she relented, stepping back between his legs. 

"It's just, he has no one, you know? He comes into this world and all he gets is shit. I don't know I just.... I just felt bad for him. I kinda know what that feels like," she said dipping her head. "He was so little and scared."

"Not of you. He climbed right up into your lap."

"Yeah. It's stupid. Hank's right, I have no business with a dog, fuck I barely manage to take care of myself and look what happened the last time I tried to care for someone else." Erin felt the familiar ache as her thoughts turned to Nadia. "They took him to the shelter. They'll find him a good home and if not, well at least he won't have to bare any more of life's unfairness. Maybe it's for the best."

"Erin!" Jay exclaimed, shocked at the sudden cavalier attitude. "You don't mean that." 

She shrugged. "It's been a long day I'm pretty tired." she replied avoiding his question and ending the discussion. She didn't want to think about the pathetic dog anymore. He reminded her too much of all the shit life had handed her. She didn't want to think about his sad eyes trusting her to help him. It was better this way, she couldn't let him down after he'd gone and got attached to her. 

Erin had a quick shower and crawled into bed. She heard Jay go in the bathroom and turn on the shower water. A few minutes later the bed dipped and his warm body curled around hers, spooning her. He kissed her temple. "I'm sorry you had a crappy night," he whispered. Erin laced her fingers through his and pressed their hands against her chest. 

"Yeah, me too," she sighed. Jay settled behind her and they drifted to sleep. Erin's dreams were haunted by sad puppy dog eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Erin dragged her sorry ass up the stairs to intelligence the next morning. She hadn't slept well. Despite her best efforts to pretend she didn't give a shit anymore, that puppy was still in her head. 

"Come on slow poke Tony said he was bringing breakfast and I want to get some before Ruzek steals all the good donuts," Jay complained tapping her on the butt to herd her up the stairs faster. 

She rolled her eyes and stepped out of his way. Gesturing for him to go ahead of her. He snuck a quick kiss to her temple in thanks then took the rest of the stairs two at a time. That man took his food seriously, she mused. The though making her smile for the first time this morning.

As she cleared the landing at the top of the stairs Mouse called out to her between mouthfuls of danish. "Hey Lindsay. Voight wants to see you in the roll up as soon as you got here. Said its urgent." 

She frowned. "He couldn't have texted me? I just got up here."

Mouse looked guilty. "Sorry, he said to tell you to head down right away." 

Erin sighed, "well I guess there goes any hope of me getting a free breakfast." Erin grumbled as she crossed the hall to the back stairs. 

"What do you need that I'm not aloud breakfast first?" Erin called out as she came out of the stairwell into the district basement. Yes she was in a bad mood and he's she was going to make him suffer. There was no answer. The room was empty. "Hank?" She called. She heard a shuffling behind the table and turned to look. Then she heard a.... Was that a bark? Erin cautiously approached the table, as she came around it she saw a large dark blue saucer shaped fluffy dog bed with a small brown mass perched in the middle. Erin froze, her jaw dropping to the floor. 

Hank walked up beside her. She turned to stare at him, a thousand questions written on her face. He shrugged. "Halstead called while you were in the shower last night. Said you were pretty upset. Reminded me you've been through the ringer these past few months and have been working your ass off trying to get better. If this is gonna help you get better, well... But I better not find any dog shit on my floor. And you have him trained. I don't need any trouble." Hank finished firmly. 

Erin still stood frozen in place processing what he said. He'd changed his mind. He'd rescued the puppy! Realization dawned on her and she threw her arms around Hank's neck. He was surprised at first but hugged her back. "Thank you," she crocked out, emotion thick in her throat. Then she flew over to the puppy and plopped down on the floor in front of his bed. 

He had bandages on his front paws. Erin looked up at Hank in question. "Vet said he'd be fine but he's been kicked around a bit, brushing on his torso, so don't go picking him up or squeezing him. The left paws sprained not broken and the right has some open cuts. Vet said both should heal ok. He's malnourished, she gave me a sheet," he said pulling a paper out of his pocket and handing it to her, "about what to feed him and he needs lots of water. She gave me the number of trainers who work with abused dogs. Someone is coming by in an hour to talk to you about what to expect and how to handle him." 

Erin nodded as she took in all the information "Hank this is...."

"Having second thoughts? I told you he'd be a lot of work." 

"no, no I just didn't expect you'd change your mind."

"Yeah well I seem to have a soft spot where your concerned. Plus I couldn't get Camille's voice out of my head telling me you needed this damn dog." He shook his head sadly. 

Erin smiled softly at the mention of Camille's name. "Smart woman."

"Mmmm maybe," Hank grumbled but Erin knew there was no one he admired or respected more than his late wife. 

"Where is he?" Platt barked as she came into the room. Erin froze. Oh shit! Had Hank not cleared this with Platt? She braced herself for a fight. Platt rounded the table and stopped hands on hips. She glared at Erin sitting on the floor. The puppy had gingerly climbed onto her lap while Hank had been filling her in. He turned his big round sad eyes up at Platt. She melted. 

"By god aren't you the cutest little thing," she said lowering to a squat. She put her hand out for the dog to smell and he sniffed than licked her. He climbed off Erin's lap and limped over to Platt "oh you poor baby you're all bandaged up." Platt dropped to her knees and started gently petting the puppy. She cooed and sweet talked it. "You're such a handsome little boy aren't you. Yes such a sweet little boy. Come here and let Auntie Trudy give you some love. Nothing but love for you from now on you poor little thing." 

The puppy moved closer to Platt and sniffed at her face then placed several wet kissed on her nose. "Awe, what a sweet boy you are." Platt looked up at Erin. "Now don't you worry, I'll make sure he's taken good care of while your out on a call. And I'll take him for walks on my lunch breaks once he's all healed up," Platt informed them. 

Erin was floored. She couldn't believe her eyes or ears. Trudy Platt talking baby talk was something she never expected in a million years. But she was relived Sargent Platt loved the puppy. It was reassuring to know he'd be looked in on if she was stuck out on a call for a long time. Sargent Platt cooed over the puppy for a few more minted before reluctantly returning to her desk duties but she promised to pop down later and show the dog some affection.


	3. Chapter 3

When Erin got back up to the bullpen she found a donut and fresh coffee on her desk. She looked up and across the isle at her partner who flashed her a wicked grin and winked at her. She couldn't help but grin back. It was a good morning, a puppy and a partner who'd saved her breakfast, what more could a girl ask for? Erin settled in, figuring she'd better get as much as she could accomplished before her puppy meeting. 

When Hank and Antonio left on call from HQ Jay appeared, perching himself on the edge of her desk. 

"So.... What you gonna name him." He said with a huge grin. Erin scrutinized him. 

"You could have given me a heads up." She said, with fake agitation in her voice. 

But Jay didn't buy it. He could see how happy she was. "What? And ruin your surprise. No way. Besides Voight would have killed me."  
Erin shrugged not seeming to care that his life was in peril. "Gee thanks, glad to know you care so much about me." Jay laughed and pouted at her reaction. 

She shoved him off her desk with a laugh, "get back to work detective." 

"Yeah yeah, but you do need to name him." Jay pointed out, making his way back to his desk. 

Two hours later Erin was feeling completely overwhelmed and wondering why she hadn't listened to Hank. She'd met with the dog trainer and the list of needs for her sad little puppy was daunting. The icing on the cake had been his apparent fear of men, due to the trauma he'd endured from his last owner. Men. Ninety percent of the people in this building, in her unit, in her life, were men. Hank had been right, she didn't have time for this.   
Erin sat down hard on her desk chair and rubbed her temples. 

"Didn't go so well?" Jay inquired as he came out of the break room. 

"What the hell was I thinking?" Erin lamented. "I have all these things I need to do to help him get over his trauma from the abuse plus normal puppy training. How am I gonna take care of him and do this job?"

"Hey, it will work out. I heard Platt took a real liking to him, plus I can help." Jay offered. 

Erin laughed sarcastically, "That would be great except he's terrified of men." 

Jay frowned. "Well I guess I'm just going to have to help him with that. It will be okay. We can do this." 

Erin lifted her head from her hands. "We?" She questioned hopefully. 

Jay smiled at her "yeah we. I said I'd help."

"Well it was you that called Voight to help change his mind, so yeah I guess you are on the hook for this puppy too."

Jay nodded, "that's fine. It will be fun." 

Erin's eyes widened as reality hit her, "you wanted this puppy! You called Voight because that dog down their broke your heart too. And you had the gull to tease me," Erin playfully swatted at Jay. 

He laughed and jumped away. "I'm not admitting to anything." 

Erin pointed her finger at him with her most firm expression, "this is your fault Halstead. It's gonna be your ass up at 4am when the puppy wants to go out and pee!"

Jay smiled wickedly at her and strode back to her desk. He bent over, placing one hand on her desk the other on the arm of her chair. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear. "Well at least that means I get to spend more time in your bed." Her heart jumped and her tummy fluttered. Erin involuntarily licked her lips. He cocked an eyebrow at her. The bastard knew what effect he was having on her. So much for workplace professionalism. But maybe this puppy thing wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

/

So Erin had caught on to his game. Yes he wanted the puppy. He'd been just as heart broken as she was when he saw him chained in that dark cold basement. It brought back old memories of the stray he'd tried to rescue as a child. Erin's reaction last night had sealed the deal for him. He knew they didn't need the extra responsibility but wants sometimes trumped needs. 

He also knew the only way to make sure it got the care it deserved was to have Voight on board. Not that he should have a say in their personal lives but he sure as hell had the power to make things either easier or harder for them. So he'd taken a gamble and called Voight last night to 'see what Voight thought' about Jay getting Erin the puppy. It was an awkward conversation but then any conversation with Voight outside of work always felt awkward to Jay. 

It had been the right move. Voight had a need to exert his male dominate role in Erin's life and he took the bait. It also meant he took the credit for getting her the puppy but Jay could live with that. It meant Jay got to spend more time with Erin outside of work and he finally got the dog he'd been longing for all these years. 

He'd been working steady for awhile chasing dead end leads at his desk. Most of the team, including Erin, were out on one call or another. With everything quiet and Mouse manning the phone Jay decided it was time to go formally meet his new furry friend. 

He came down the stairs to the roll up slowly. He didn't want to startle the pup and he took to heart what Erin had said about it being afraid of men. Last thing he wanted was to cause more stress for his new friend. At the sound of his footsteps on the concrete floor the puppy's ears perked up and he stirred from his sleep. His head shot up to locate the source of the sound. 

"Hey buddy," Jay cooed softly at the pup, as he approached slowly. He had a sudden flashback to the skittish hungry stray he found huddled in his back yard. Jay had convinced it to take food from him all those years ago. He could convince this little pup he was a good guy. 

Jay took a deep breath and let it out slow, making sure his demeanour was relaxed and open. As he got closer the dog let out a low growl. "It's okay buddy. It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you, see?" Jay opened and extended his hands. "Nothing's gonna happen to you here boy." 

The puppy backed up in his bed until his bum hit the wall. Jay continued his soft cooing and crouched down low, slowly moving forward. When he was about two feet away from the dog bed Jay carefully moved to a sitting position, legs crossed. He sat still. "See, I'm not gonna hurt you." The pup growled a moment more then cocked his head to the side in curiosity. Jay took it as a good sign and eased his arm forward offering his palm for the pup to sniff but the pup barked a warning and growled some more while trying to disappear into the wall behind him. 

Jay was disappointed even though he knew he shouldn't be. He knew he couldn't rush things but he had visions of long hikes, playing fetch and wrestling on the ground. He shook his head gently, admonishing himself. Seems the eight year old boy in him was coming out in full force today. 

"Shh shh it's okay. Alright you're not ready yet. It's okay." Jay soothed the frightened pup. He replaced his hand on his lap and waited. The pup watched him carefully. His intrigue getting the better of him again. Jay smiled to himself. The puppy's cautious curiosity reminded Jay of someone else he knew. "Seems your new mom is right, the two of you do have a lot in common. That's okay. I waited for her. I can wait for you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all so sweet!! Thank you for all the reviews and messages. This has been a fun little short story to write. I'm so happy you are enjoying it with me! A shout out to @allenting for naming my linstead pup. If not for her and @califleurnia this story wouldn't exist. I think there will be a couple more chapters to this puppy fluff. Hope you enjoy!

"Jay?" Jay turned to see Erin approaching him, confusion all over her face. "What are you doing down there?" She laughed. 

"Making friends." He stated matter of factly. 

"He let you pet him?" 

"No, not yet. We're just talking. Getting to know one another." Erin was surprised. Jay was sitting, cross legged, on the concrete floor of the roll up, less than two feet from a puppy that was terrified of men. When the puppy caught sight of Erin his tail wagged and ears perked forward but he didn't move. And he kept darting his eyes back to Jay to make sure he wasn't going to move. 

Erin came and sat beside Jay on the floor and extended her hand to the pup. He hesitated but then leaned forward to smell then lick her hand. She gave him a little scratch behind his ear. He side stepped towards her not taking his eyes off Jay. Jay remained still but relaxed. 

"He's not sure about you. I don't blame him." Erin laughed. Jay gave her an unimpressed look which made Erin giggle more. "Give him time. The trainer gave me some ideas on how to help him trust." 

"Well, let's hear it then." Jay prompted. They sat quietly talking about everything the trainer had told Erin. While they talked the puppy slowly made its way onto Erin's lap but faced towards Jay. Erin stroked his back. As casually as he could Jay moved his hand closer to Erin's leg, just an inch or so at a time. Eventually his fingers rested against Erin's leg, just inches from the puppy's nose. The puppy stared at Jay's hand intently but again his curiosity won over and he bent his head to smell Jay's fingers. Jay and Erin pretended not to notice but Jay felt the cold wet tip of the puppy's nose brush against his knuckles. Seemingly satisfied the hand wasn't going to hurt him, the puppy curled up in Erin's lap and closed his eyes.

Jay and Erin made eye contact and smiled. "Wow. That was good right?" Erin inquired enthusiastically. 

"Yeah it was." Jay laughed. "You come up with a name for this little guy yet."

"No. I have no idea what to call him." She frowned and looked down at her hand as it stroked the soft fur between the puppy's ears. "You name it."

"What?"

"You name it. Consider it my thank you present for getting Hank on board with this." Erin offered. 

"I was kinda hoping for something else as a thank you." Jay teased wiggling his eyebrows at Erin. 

"Name the puppy and I might just consider it." Erin laughed back at him. 

"Well in that case, Alfie." Jay said quickly. 

"Alfie?"

"Yes, and you can't complain because you said I could name it." He reminded her. 

"I'm not complaining. But why Alfie?" Jay had seemed so sure of himself, like he'd already had the name in mind. Jay shrugged. "Spit it out." Erin demanded. Jay sat quietly for a moment and flushed with embarrassment. "Please don't tell me you have an ex named Alfie." 

"What! No, no of course not." Jay couldn't believe Erin would ever think he'd do something like that. "It's..." Jay sighed. "It's the name I wanted to give my dog when I was little."

"You had a dog growing up?"

"No, yes, well not exactly." Erin looked confused. So Jay told her about the stray. "I was about eight years old I guess. I was playing in the backyard and heard a whining noise behind the shed. I went back to look and there was a dog, a stray. He was really skinny and scruffy looking. Scared too. I snuck in the house and got some roast beef out of the fridge, left overs, you know?" Erin nodded and watched Jay with fascination, as he spoke. "Anyway he was scared at first but he took the food. I got called inside after that but I went back to check on him in the morning and he was still there. So I snuck him some food and water. After school, same thing. After a couple days he let me pet him. I figured I could get him to trust me then clean him up and ask to keep him." Erin's heart swelled picturing a little freckle faced Jay caring for the stray dog. "But Will and I got in a a fight and in his anger at me he told my dad about the dog. Guess he's seen me out there with it. My dad got really mad. Next morning when I went to check on the dog, it was gone. Never saw it again." 

"Oh Jay." She felt a pain in her chest for both Jay and the stray dog. "You must have been so upset."

Jay shrugged and looked at the sleeping puppy on her lap. He slowly stretched out his hand and gently pet the dog's back. The puppy's eyes opened. He looked at the hand on his back and up at Jay without lifting his head. After a moment his eyes closed and he went back to sleep. Erin felt tears well up in her eyes. Jay felt the swell of victory. They made eye contact and silently celebrated the small step forward. 

"Alfie it is then." Erin announced.


	5. Chapter 5

The confusion of settling Alfie into his new home had Erin stressed and Jay amused. Erin rearranged some things in her apartment so she could fit the dog crate, bed, toys and dishes that she had picked up while she was out earlier in the day all in convenient places. Again she wondered if she had really though this through. But one look at Alfie and her heart overruled all reason. 

As the trainer had warned Erin, Alfie was nervous of the new surroundings so they decided to have a quiet evening, ordering in take out and watching tv, so they could keep an eye on him and take him for a short walk around his new neighbourhood. Eventually Alfie climbed on Erin's lap and fell asleep while they watched a movie. And although the puppy was still nervous of Jay, he didn't stir from his sleep when Jay lazily pet him while the three of them snuggled on the couch. 

"You're not actually gonna put him in that crate tonight are you?" Jay hedged. 

"That's what the trainer said to do." Erin reminded Jay. 

"But he's been through so much, don't you think locking him up will traumatize him more?"

"The trainer said he'd get himself into a lot of trouble and maybe even danger if I left him out. She said the crate will keep him and my apartment safe." Erin pointed out. 

"Trouble? What kind of trouble Erin? Look at him? He's scared of his own shadow. Let him sleep with us. He'll feel more safe close to you." Jay bargained. 

"Jay...."

"Come on Erin. He's been through enough."  
Erin sighed. She had a hard time saying no to this man when he wore his heart on his sleeve. It was so much easier to shut him down when he was in closed off detective mode. And if she was being honest with herself, she did feel uncomfortable locking the dog in a cage at night. Alfie had been so good and stuck right by her side all evening. He was clearly tuckered out. Erin didn't see any harm in giving into Jay. 

"Alright fine. But if he makes a mess you have to clean it up."

"He won't." Jay smiled widely at her, pleased he'd gotten his way. "Now you mentioned something about thanking me properly earlier if I recall?" Jay said with a mischievous smile. 

Erin rolled her eyes but smiled. Of course he'd bring that up. But this was something she had no desire to say no to, only she figured she'd have a little fun with him first. "I don't know Jay, in front of the puppy? That's kind of weird isn't it?" She said acting uncomfortable. 

Jay's face fell in disappointment. He looked down at the puppy then back up at Erin. "Well maybe, I mean couldn't he just sleep out here on the couch for a bit?" 

Erin laughed out loud. The hope on Jay's face was adorable. But she couldn't stand to torture the poor guy for long. "I'm joking."

"Joking?" Jay cocked an eye at her. 

"Yup" 

"I'm not laughing." He warned. 

"That's because you don't have a very good sense of humour." Erin knew she was pushing her luck. She could see in Jay's eyes he was about to turn the tables on her. She couldn't resist. She loved getting him worked up. The teasing had always been the best part of their relationship well, next to the sex, but that was even more fun when Jay felt he had something to prove. The man certainly had patience, an eye for detail and dedication when it came to extracting every once of pleasure from her. Erin licked her lips in anticipation. But she knew she was safe as long as Alfie slumbered on her lap. 

As if he'd heard her thoughts, Alfie woke and looked straight up at her. He gave a huge yawn and jumped from her lap. Erin looked at the departing puppy then up at Jay. The evil grin on his face was all it took to have her shooting up and racing for the bedroom. But her partner was fast and his damn long legs covered the short distance quickly. By the time she cleared the doorway she felt Jay's arm snake around her waist and lift her off the ground. Unceremoniously she was deposited on the bed. Jay climbed over her, straddling her legs. 

"Running?" He cocked an eyebrow at her. 

She shrugged. "Fastest way to get somewhere." Jay's eyes dilated. She lazily ran her finger down his torso and over the button on his jeans then further down tracing the seam over his zipper. Jay grabbed her hand. Erin looked up. The desire in his eyes almost set her on fire. Her breath caught. He moved her hand above her head and lowered his head to hers, kissing her first softly then letting the fire egnight between them. His free hand skimmed down her side and slid under her Tshirt. The heat of his fingers against her skin made her hips buck up and into him. A smile spread across Jay's lips and he began trailing kisses across her jaw and down her neck. Erin cocked her head to the side, giving him better access, his soft lips and scratch of the hair on his jaw overwhelming her senses.

"Enough." She breathed out. Jay's head shot up, perplexed. He let go of her wrist. Erin used his confusion to her advantage and flipped them over so she was straddling his legs. Jay blinked in surprise. "I'm supposed to be thanking you remember." 

Jay laughed but she could see the anticipation in his eyes. He extended his arms outward, "by all means, be my guest," he teased. Erin bit her lip trying to decided what to do first, what would drive him the most crazy. 

She tugged at the hem of his shirt. "Take this off," she demanded. Jay lifted his torso so Erin could work the shirt up and over his head. Once off he lay back down, arms sprawled casually over his head. Erin took in the view. Again she trailed her fingers over his torso tracing every contour of his muscles and teasing the small patch of curly hair above the button of his jeans. 

She looked back up to see Jay watching her carefully. Slowly she grabbed hold of the hem of her own shirt and pulled it up over her head, discarding it on the floor. Jay's eyes darkened and his hand came up to trace the lace trim of her black silk bra. Goose bumps broke out over Erin's skin. She closed her eyes and revelled in his gentle touch before returning to her mission. 

Erin bent forward, her hair tickling Jay's chest before her lips made contact with the hollow of his neck. She trailed soft wet kisses over his torso, following the path she drew earlier with her fingers. Slowly she inched her body down Jay's, making sure to let the cool silk of her bra brush against him as she went. Jay's breath came out in gaps. His hands clenched the sheets in an effort to let her remain in control. Her slow torture was both heaven and hell. When her lips reached the small v of hair above his jeans her hands came up to unclasp his button. Slowly she unzipped the zipper making sure to brush up against the hard length that had formed underneath. Erin folded back one side of his fly and began placing kisses on the newly exposed skin. 

"Erin" Jay pleaded. 

Out of nowhere a thundering crash broke through their passion. "What the hell!" Jay exclaimed sitting upright and moving Erin off his lap. He reached into her side table drawer for her gun and practically leapt off the bed. "Stay here" he ordered. 

"Like hell I will," she scoffed. She grabbed her shirt off the floor and followed close behind Jay. Cautiously they rounded the corner to the living room. Their mouths dropped open in shock at the sight before them. Jay dropped the hand holding the gun to his side. The living room looked like it had been ransacked but no criminal had broken in. There, amongst the carnage that used to be Erin's new couch and shattered coffee table, sat Alfie, happily chewing on Erin's favourite red leather jacket.


	6. Chapter 6

"What the hell!" Erin yelled. Alfie looked up from his new chew toy, Erin's favourite red leather jacket, to see what had his new owner so upset. "What have you done." She demanded of the puppy, hands on her hips. Alfie, realizing he was in trouble, dropped the coat and began backing away. 

"Erin, Erin you're scaring him." Jay said. 

"Scaring him? Scaring him! He just about scared the life out of us not 30 seconds ago... You were ready to shoot him. And look at this place! My coffee table is in a million pieces, my couch cushions are torn open. Look at my jacket. This is your fault Halstead."

"Mine?"

"Yes yours. You insisted we keep him out of the crate and now look. He's completely trashed my apartment. And look at my jacket." Erin said again, moving towards the garment. Alfie slowly backed away in the opposite direction of Erin. 

"It's just a coat Erin. We can replace it."

"Just a coat? Camille bought me this coat." She choked out. Jay cringed, realizing now why Erin was so emotional. "I can't replace this Jay." She shook the jacket at him then threw it down. Alfie hid behind Jay's legs peeking out to keep an eye on Erin's movements. Erin ran her hands through her hair and sighed. 

"Erin I'm sorry, look..." Jay began. But Erin was already moving towards the hall, putting on her boots and picking up keys. "Erin where are you going, it's almost midnight."

"To your place. To sleep in peace. This is your fault Jay. And you said if he made a mess you'd clean it."

"I did, I will but Erin you don't need to leave..."

"Well I am. I'll see you at work in the morning." Erin left, barely managing not to slam the door behind her. She knew she was acting like a child but she couldn't help it. When she saw Alfie chewing on her coat, the coat Camille had surprised her with for her twenty first birthday, emotion took over. She felt the tears welling up but she quickly ran down the stairs and out to her car before she could give into the urge to sit on the hall floor and cry. 

Back in the apartment Jay stood dumbfounded, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He looked down at the puppy now cowering between his legs. Alfie looked up at him with sad frightened eyes. "It's okay buddy. Mommy's just upset. You really did pick the wrong coat to chew on. She'd never hurt you though. Just give her the night and she'll calm down." Alfie whined at him in response. "Yeah, you and me are in a whole lot of trouble." Jay replied to the dog. "Looks like we're both gonna be sleeping in that crate for awhile. Come on, let's get this place cleaned up."

Jay set to work clearing out the broken pieces of glass from the coffee table and other debris. Alfie sat in the corner watching his every move. It was well after one in the morning by the time he was done. 

"Well I guess I should take you for a pee before I head to bed eh? Want to go for a walk?" Jay asked the dog, holding out his leash. Alfie cocked his head to the side. Jay wasn't sure if Alfie would come to him or not but Alfie's canine instincts took over, the idea of a walk winning out over his nervousness, and he approached Jay. The two went out for a quick walk and then Jay secured Alphie in his crate for the night. "Sorry buddy, but I can't afford having your mom any more upset than she already is. And this apartment won't survive a second round with you." Jay said petting the dog good night and heading to bed. 

/

Erin tossed and turned. She usually slept so well in Jay's bed. But that's because he's in it, a voice in her head taunted. She really shouldn't have run out like that. She knew she was being emotional. It wasn't fair to Jay. She had agreed to keeping Alfie out of the crate after all. And she felt horribly guilty for yelling at the dog. She'd picked up her phone to text Jay several times but her pride and stubbornness kept her from apologizing everytime. 

/

Erin was dragging in the morning. She stopped and picked Jay up coffee and a treat on the way, hoping he'd see it for the apology it was. She'd also stopped at the pet store and got Alfie a new chew toy. The sales clerk said it was very popular with pups of his size so she hoped he'd accept her peace offering. She was still upset about the damage, especially to her coat, but she knew she was partially to blame. 

Erin went looking for both Jay and Alfie when she arrived at work but couldn't find either of them. She put Jay's coffee and food on his desk, tucked the toy into her drawer and got to work. Within a half hour Hank had assigned her and Al to follow up some on leads and she didn't return back to the bullpen until late afternoon. Jay's coffee sat untouched on his desk. 

"Hey Ruzek, you seen Jay?"

"Na, Voight said he called in this morning."

"Oh, thanks." Erin had a moment of panic. Jay rarely called in. What if something had happened after she left? Alfie was still nervous around him, what if after her temper tantrum Alfie had turned on Jay, bit him? Erin pulled out her phone and fired off a quick text to make sure he was okay. A few minutes later he texted her back confirming he was fine but said nothing more. 

She suddenly realized she had no idea where Alfie was or if he had been alone all day. It was her responsibility to care for him and at the first sign of trouble she'd run. As usual. Erin packed up for the day and spent her whole drive home beating herself up for being such an awful owner to Alfie. 

/

Jay scanned the room one last time. He gave a satisfied nod. It had been one hell of a day and he was exhausted. Of course it didn't help that he'd spent the rest of last night alone in Erin's bed tossing and turning because she wasn't there to tuck her cold feet under him. 

This morning, after Alfie had let Jay walk him again, Jay set out to make things right with Erin. He'd felt awful about talking her into letting Alfie stay out of the crate and the amount of damage the dog had done, especially right after Erin had put so much time and money into redecorating after her so called sabbatical. The real kicker had been the jacket though. She's taken that hard and he understood why. There were few people who had shown Erin genuine love in her life and she didn't need the reminder that yet another one of them had been taken from her life too soon. He just hoped that what he'd done today would make her feel better. As he stood looking around the room doubt began to set in. What if his plan actually upset her more? 

Before he had too much time to dwell on that he heard her key in the front door. "Here we go," he said to Alfie, "best manners." He warned the dog. Alfie got up from his place on the floor and came and stood beside Jay. Jay held his breath as he waited for Erin's reaction to his idea of what cleaning up after the dog meant. 

Erin kicked off her shoes and headed down the hall. Something smelled delicious. As she rounded the corner she saw both Jay and Alfie standing in the middle of her living room, both looking unsure of themselves. "Hi" she said quietly. 

"Hi. How was your day?" But Erin didn't answer as her brain started to register the contents of the room. It was spotless, as of last night had never happened. Her couch looked good as new and there was a new glass top on her coffee table. On the table sat a large white box. 

"What...how...." Erin stampeded out. 

"We spent the day cleaning things up. I took the couch cushions in for repair and was able to find a new table top." Jay said shyly. 

"You did all this?" Erin asked, still dumbfounded. 

"Yeah, it was my fault. I promised I would." Jay shrugged. 

"No Jay it wasn't. I agreed to let him stay out. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry." Her words fell out quickly. "This is.... It's amazing. You didn't have to do this. Thank You."

Jay smiled. "I wanted to." He said, approaching her slowly. "I hate seeing you upset. You've been through enough. I needed to make this right." His hand tentatively touched her cheek. Erin leaned into the touch and Jay wrapped his arms around her. Erin's arms came around Jay's waist as she hugged him back. "There's... umm... there's one more thing." Jay said tentatively. Erin looked up at him curiously. Jay picked up the box on the coffee table and held it out to her. Confused, Erin took the box and sat on the couch. 

"Jay you didn't need to get me a gift."

"Just open it."

Erin removed the box lid and gasped. "Oh Jay!" 

"The guy I took it to said he couldn't get every mark out but he was able to repair most of the damage. I hope it's okay."

Erin lifted her red leather jacket from the box and inspected it. It looked good. Really good. "Jay it's...." Her voice caught as her eyes filled with tears. She took a breath and blinked them away. "It's perfect. Thank you." She whispered, emotion too think in her throat for more.

Jay came and sat beside her on the couch. "I'm sorry. I won't ignore what the trainer tells us to do again." Erin nodded, still unable to form words without crying. 

She turned to look at Alfie who had sat watching her carefully this whole time. She extended her hand to him. After a moment of hesitation he stood and came to her. After smelling her hand he licked it. Erin smiled and scratched Alfie behind his ears. "Im sorry buddy. I shouldn't have yelled at you." Alfie stepped forward and placed his head on her lap. Erin smiled and Jay laughed. 

"I think you're forgiven." 

"By you too?" Erin asked

"There was nothing for me to forgive. Am I forgiven?"

"Of course. Even without all this Jay. I told you it was my fault too." Erin said waving her arm around the room. They smiled at each other. Their gaze held and the air heated around them. Erin leaned in to kiss Jay. He pulled her on top of his lap. It was well over an hour before Erin though to ask what the delicious smell was.


	7. Chapter 7

After the coat incident Erin was more strict with following the trainers recommendations. She scheduled regular training sessions and made sure Jay attended with her. She wasn't about to let either of their sad puppy dog looks cost her the contents of her apartment. 

Although if she was being fair, Jay was true to his word and didn't try and talk her out of any rules she'd put in place. Having Jay attend training worked out to be a blessing too. It wasn't long before Alfie was more at ease around Jay, listening to his commands and letting Jay pet him and walk him without hesitation. And he was slowly warming up to the other guys in the unit but she was sure it had more to do with them sneaking Alfie treats when she wasn't around rather than anything else. 

Erin also had to admit Jay was a big help. He'd meant it when he said he would do this with her. She was grateful because Hank was right, this dog was a lot of work, but she wasn't going to admit that to him any time soon. And she definitely wasn't going to complain about the extra time she and Jay were spending together. Erin's tummy growled, interrupting her reflection and she remembered she'd promised to bring home dinner this evening. Jay had left earlier with the dog claiming to have some errands to run. 

/

Ok so he wasn't exactly lying. He did have to grab a birthday gift for his brother, but he could have done that anytime between now and his actual birthday next week. Things had been dead at the district, surprisingly. It was a beautiful day and he couldn't stop thinking about how nice it would be to take Alfie out to the dog park and play. So he'd made the excuse of having errands to run, told Erin he'd take the dog with him, and now was happily playing catch in the sunshine with Alfie. 

He was acting more and more like a normal pup each time they came out to play. He loved to run and jumped around with excitement when Jay pulled the ball from his pocket. Alfie still wasn't great at giving the ball up once he brought it back though. Jay tried to give him the 'drop it' command but Alfie just stared at him. When Jay reached down to take the ball Alfie playfully jumped away. 

"Come back here you!" Jay laughed. Alfie dutifully came back and sat in front of Jay. 

Again Jay reached for the ball and Alfie jumped around. Jay laughed. "You want to play keep away, do you?" 

Jay playfully swiped at the ball and Alfie ran around him in a circle. They continued like this for several minutes until Jay tripped over Alfie and ended up on the ground. Alfie immediately came to Jay's side and dropped the ball. 

"Why you little.." Jay laughed grabbing at Alfie and pulling him down beside him. Jay gruffly rubbed the dog's back and Alfie barked and playfully nudged Jay, licking his chin. They wrestled until they were both out of breath. 

"Ok buddy, I call a truce... Let's go get some water." Jay clipped Alfie's leach back on, got up, brushed himself off and lead Alfie back to the car where he'd stored a drink for them both. 

/

Jay took another long drink of water from his water bottle while he watched Alfie lap at the water in his bowl. He looked up when he heard three old Harley's pull into the parking lot. Jay was too busy admiring the bikes to notice Alfie's demeanour change. He stopped drinking his water, his ears pressed back, his tail dipped between his legs. The bikes shut down and one rider, a large scruffy looking man, came walking towards Jay. Alfie let out a low growl which caught Jay's attention. "Easy buddy." Jay soothed. 

"Hey man, wondering if you can help me out." The scruffy looking man said when he's got near enough to speak. 

"Sure, what's up?" Jay offered. Alfie moved to stand behind Jay, his head peaking around Jay's legs, and barked once at the stranger. The man stopped his approach. "He's nervous of strangers, especially guys." Jay apologized. 

"It's cool dude. Got a couple rotties myself." The man crouched down, "hey buddy, you're cool, I'm not gonna hurt you." He said slapping his hand against his thigh in a 'come here' gesture. The motion and sound of the slap spooked Alfie, he jerked on the leash, ripping it from Jay's hand and took off across the parking lot. 

"Oh fuck!" Jay cursed, then began chasing after Alfie and calling him, leaving the stranger standing dumbstruck. Jay watched in horror as Alfie blindly ran towards the busy street. He picked up his pace and continued to hurry after the dog but to no avail. Alfie charged into the road. Cars screeched to a halt and horns honked, further panicking the dog as he weaved back and forth franticly looking for an escape from the noise and strangers. Just as Jay was catching up to him, Alfie found an opening and ducked down a narrow ally. 

The alley was dark, even at this time of afternoon, no sunlight penetrated between the four story buildings that flanked it. There were dumpsters and debris lining the narrow asphalt ally. At the far end Jay could see a fence. He hoped that there were no holes big enough for Alfie to get through. Or small enough to get stuck in, he though, more panic and worry rising in him. 

Jay slowed to a walk and calmly began calling out to Alfie. "Hey buddy, it's okay. Come on. I got you." He looked around each dumpster, carefully lifting cardboard and pushing garbage bags that littered the alley to see where Alfie had hidden. The crunch of glass beneath his feet escalated Jay's worry. What if Alfie had cut himself? 

As he approached the end of the alley he could see no signs of holes in the fence. This brought a bit of relief. Alfie had to be here somewhere. There was one last dumpster to hide behind. Jay carefully approached it, calling out to the dog. He heard a small whine in return. Jay crouched down and squinted, trying to see between the dumpster and the wall. He could just make out Alfie's figure crammed in the tight space. "It's okay Alfie. Hey, it's okay. It's just me. You're safe buddy. Come on. Come on out." Jay tried soothing and coaxing him over and over. He remembered the treats in his pocket, dug them out and offered them to Alfie in his open hand while continuing to quietly call the pup. He had flash backs to being a little boy with the stray dog behind his shed, but this dog wasn't budging. 

Jay's legs began to cramp up, he'd been crouched so long. He examined the ground below him and, deciding it was clean enough, dropped to his knees. He was frustrated and worried. He didn't know how he was going to get Alfie out from behind the dumpster and he prayed the pup wasn't hurt. 

Out of options and defeated, Jay fished out his phone to call Erin. She wasn't going to be impressed but if anyone could coax Alfie out it would be Erin. "Ok buddy, looks like I'm gonna have to call your mom to help get you out of here." Jay said, beginning to dial Erin's cell. 

While he was looking down at his phone something cold and wet touched his knuckles. Jay froze. Alfie was stretching his head out from his hiding spot. When Jay didn't react Alfie nudged a little closer, this time trying to burrow his hand into Jays closed fist... the one holding the treats. Jay carefully turned his hand over and opened it. Alfie inched closer and inhaled the treat. Slowly Jay put his phone back in his pocket and reached to pet the dog, carefully trying to collect the leash in his hand without alerting Alfie. "It's okay. You're good," Jay soothed. After a moment of letting Jay pet him, Alfie stepped all the way from behind the dumpster. Jay breathed a sigh of relief as Alfie began licking Jay's face. "That's a good boy. You're okay now." Jay reassured him. "Can we go home now?" Jay pleaded. Alfie let out a bark. Jay slowly rose to his feet, and with a firm grip on the leash, led the dog back to the car. 

/

His car stunk. Bad. He didn't know what Alfie had gotten into behind that dumpster but it was vile. Even with all the windows open the smell was overwhelming. As soon as they parked in front of Erin's apartment Jay jumped from the car.

"It's bath time for you buddy." Jay announced, leading the dog up the stairs. Jay took Alfie directly to the bathroom and pulled out the dog shampoo and towels they kept for bathing him. He ran the water to a comfortable temperature then got Alfie in the tub. The dog loved his baths. But at 50lbs already he was awkward to bathe and splashed around a lot. "Wait till he's full grown," Jay moaned to himself. Half way through lathering him up Jay was soaked and tossed his drenched shirt to the floor. "Guess I'm getting a shower too after I'm done with you." Jay chuckled at the dog. 

Twenty minutes later Alfie was clean, dried and bushed down. Jay quickly showered himself and threw on some sweat pants. He was beat. The panic he'd felt when Alfie ran off had drained him. He knew the dog was affected by it too because he had refused to leave the bathroom when Jay showered and was now following close behind him as he made his way into the living room. 

"It will be another hour before mommy gets home with dinner buddy, what do you want to do?" Jay asked the dog. On cue Alfie let out a big yawn. "I think that's the best idea you've had all day," Jay agreed. He flopped down on the couch and invited Alfie to join him. 

"You had quite the scare this afternoon," Jay said, stroking Alfie's fur. "What was it about that guy that freaked you out so bad?" Jay inquired. Alfie just looked up at him with sleepy eyes. "Not much for talking things through hu? You get that from your mom too." Jay mused. He lay petting the dog and staring at the ceiling turning the situation over in his head until he fell asleep too.


	8. Chapter 8

Erin struggled to unlock the door while balancing dinner, their drinks and her go bag in her arms. She'd text Jay to meet her at the door to help her but he hadn't responded. He's probably playing video games and ignoring his phone, she rolled her eyes with annoyance. So she'd loaded up with everything to avoid making two trips and now she was struggling to open the door. After stumbling in she dropped her bag and kicked off her shoes. She headed down the hall to find her boys and chew Jay out for not helping her.

She came around the corner and stopped in her tracks. Her annoyance vanished, and a smile crept across her face. They were sprawled out on the couch, Alfie half covering Jay's naked chest. Both out cold. Both snoring. Quietly Erin put their food on the breakfast bar and fished out her phone. She snapped several pictures before tip toeing over to them. Neither stirred so she took another picture. Oh this was going to be good black mail later, she laughed to herself. 

Putting the phone back in her pocket she bent to wake Jay with a kiss. Just as she was about to make contact an arm snaked around her waist and pulled her down, surprising the hell out of her. Jay angled her away from the dog and into the back of the couch. Alfie woke and jumped off the couch. Jay took advantage of Erin's surprise and Alfie's departure to flip Erin on her back as he rolled on top of her. 

"Don't think I won't get your phone and delete those pictures," he warned. 

Erin laughed, "Try all you like," Erin teased. Jay raised an eyebrow at the challenge and began tickling Erin. She laughed and screamed as Jay found her most sensitive spots, wriggling beneath him. There was no way to get out of his hold without a well placed knee or elbow but she continued to squirm and struggle, not willing to admit defeat or seriously injure him. 

Without warning Alfie's front paws came up on the couch and he began barking and growling in Jay's face. Erin and Jay froze. "Umm, Jay."

"Yeah. I know." He replied. This wasn't looking good. Slowly, Jay sat up off Erin while she cooed to the dog. 

"It's okay Alfie. I'm ok. We're just playing. It's okay." She soothed, slowly sliding up herself.   
She put out her hand for Alfie to smell. He shifted his gaze between Erin and Jay then dipped his head to smell and lick her hand. She scratched him behind the ear. 

"Give me your hand." She said to Jay. He looked at her skeptical. He really didn't want to get bit. "Jay give it to me." 

Jay reluctantly placed his hand in Erin's and she offered their joined hands for Alfie to sniff. "See, it's okay sweetie. Daddy's not gonna hurt me." She soothed. 

Jay's stomach fluttered and his heart skipped a beat. Did Erin just refer to him as 'daddy?' He wondered if she even realized she did it. A smile spread wide across his face, oh he was going to milk this for sure. 

Alfie seemed to have calmed and accept that Jay was not going to hurt Erin. Jay pet his head while he leaned in slowly and placed a kiss on Erin's cheek, the smile still broad on his face. 

"What are you ginning about?" Erin asked.   
"Two seconds ago you looked like you wanted to run for your life." 

Jay chuckled, "You know DADDY would never hurt mommy right buddy?" He asked the dog. Alphie licked at Jay's hand. Erin's face paled. Yup, he was right, Erin had let the endearment slip out by accident. "See, mommy, we're good here. Although I don't think we will be wrestling with this guy around anytime soon." 

Erin blushed. "Yeah, umm, probably not a good idea. We should eat, dinners getting cold." She rushed to change the subject and got up from the couch. 

Jay sat back and laughed. "Good idea mommy, why don't you bring DADDY his dinner." He teased. 

Erin turned fast on her heels, there was no trace of amusement on her face. Oh shit, brace yourself Halstead, Jay thought to himself. 

"Don't even go there Halstead," Erin warned pointing her finger at Jay. Alfie looked back and forth between them. 

Jay got up and slowly paced towards Erin. "Sweetheart, it's not good to fight in front of the kids." He smiled at her. 

Erin tried to hold firm to her displeasure at Jay's degrading joke and her anger with herself for letting 'daddy' slip out of her mouth. Truth was, she was beginning to think of the three of them as a little family but she wasn't ready to put all those feeling out there. Now she'd gone and slipped up and it was clear Jay was going to run wild with it. 

She tried to cling to the anger but the way he stalked towards her, shit eating grin on his face, eyebrows wiggling, she couldn't fight the way her lip started to curl up. She couldn't suppress the laugh that wanted to escape. He slid his hands around her waist and she smacked him while laughing. 

"Jerk." She lamely threw at him. 

Jay laughed. "That's the best you can do?" 

"Shut up." She shot back. 

He leaned his head in close. No matter how many times they kissed Erin's breath always hitched right before they made contact. Her eyes closed in anticipation and then, a cold emptiness replaced the space where Jay use to be. 

She opened her eyes. 

Jay was on his way back to the couch with their dinner. The bastard had teased her, reached past her and swiped their food. 

"Coming to eat, mommy?" He asked, straight faced, "it's getting cold." 

Erin opened her mouth but no reply would come. She sighed and, shaking her head, came to sit beside Jay on the couch. 

"Just remember Halstead, I still have pictures of you sleeping half naked curled up with a dog." She warned. 

"Our dog." Jay corrected her. "I was curled up with our dog." He replied, while digging through the bag of food. 

Erin couldn't help the warmth that spread through her. It really did sound nice.


	9. Chapter 9

"Erin, Erin can I pet Alfie?" Jordan asked excitedly as she approached. 

"Of course sweetie. Alfie sit," Erin commanded. Jay and Erin were just returning from a Saturday afternoon walk. One of her neighbours, Monica, was unloading her two small children, Jordan and Milli, and groceries from the car.

"You managed to get a decent parking spot, can I give you a hand with that stuff?" Jay offered. 

"Oh yes, I did get lucky. And thanks Jay, but it's just the two bags I should be good. Come on Jordan, we need to get lunch on so we're not late for your friend's birthday party."

"But mom I'm playing with Alfie." Jordan whined. 

"Actually buddy, we're headed up now too. Monica, let me take the bags since we're heading to the same place." Jay again offered. Erin smiled. He was always such a gentleman. 

"Ok, thanks." Monica relented. "Come on monkeys, let's go." She called after the kids. 

Jordan sighed, "Sorry Alfie. Guess I have to go now." His face lit with an idea, "Erin, can I hold his leash while we walk up?" The eager six year old asked. Erin and Jay exchanged glances. After Alfie had been spooked so easily by strangers last week they'd both taken to keeping a tighter hold on the leash. Jay's look confirmed Erin's thoughts that they weren't quite ready to relinquish his leash to such a young person. 

"Alfie's pretty big sweetie and he's still learning how to behave. Why don't you help me with his leash instead?" Erin offered, trying not to crush the boy and making room for his little hand to help hold the loop on the leash. 

He considered it for a minute then shrugged and took hold of the leash with Erin. "Oh I almost forgot. Mom bought me new Pokemon cards today! Wanna see?" He began fishing the cards out of his pocket before Erin could answer. "Look at this one... He's got got 130 health and 120 damage points. And this one is Mega Charizard," he excitedly explained. Erin had no clue what Jordan was saying but she fiend interest. 

"Jordan, let's go. Stop boring Erin with your cards." Monica pipped in, sending Erin an apologetic look. Erin smiled in return, letting her know it was okay. Jordan was a cute kid. 

"Ok mom," Jordan said, trying to straighten the cards. One fell to the ground and before he could bend to pick it up, a gust of wind swooped it away. It tumbled out onto the road. Jordan took off after it. "Oh no, that's my favourite." He cried. 

The adults yelled at him to stop. Erin, being closest, grabbed after him but he slipped out of her reach and charged into the road. Her heart leapt to her throat as she watched the traffic coming towards Jordan. She dropped Alfie's leash and ran after him, Jay on her heals waving at the oncoming cars to stop. 

A horn blared out and tires screeched but it was too late. A blue sedan sent Jordan flying back several feet. Monica's screams pierced the air. Both Jay and Erin flew to Jordan's side. Jay had his phone out quick to call for help while Erin tried to assess Jordan. He was unconscious but she found a heart beat and he was breathing. 

She turned her head to check on the driver and saw him bolt from the car. "Hey!" she yelled, "get back here." He ran through the zig zag of cars that had stopped since the accident. Alfie barked and took off after him. "Jay, go," 

"You're good?" 

"Yeah." She returned her focus to Jordan. 

"Ambos on its way." He said, getting up. 

"Ok go."

Jay took off after the driver. "CPD stop!" he yelled. But the man only sped up. Erin watched as the man, then Alfie, then Jay disappeared around a corner. She turned her attention back to the small child laying on the pavement beneath her. "Jordan sweetie, it's okay. Help is coming. I'm here. You're mom's here." 

Monica recovered from her shock and came rushing forward. "Oh my god, is he..."

"He's breathing," Erin reassured her quickly, "but we shouldn't move him." 

Monica took hold of her son's hand and started whispering franticly, trying to wake her boy and comfort him all at once. Erin looked up to find Milli. The four year old stood frozen in place by the bottom step of their building. The sound of sirens pulled Erin's attention back to Jordan. She pulled Monica aside as Brett and Burelli assessed the boy and loaded him onto the stretcher. 

"You need to go with him." Erin said calmly. "Is Chis at work? Can I call him for you?"

"No, he's in Boston on business. He's not due back until Thursday. Milli? What do I do with her?" Monica was clearly overwhelmed. 

"Don't worry. She can stay with me while you're gone. And you can call Chris from the hospital once you have a better idea what's going on."

"Really? You wouldn't mind watching her?" Monica said relieved. 

Erin nodded. "We'll be just fine. Go with Jordan. He needs you." 

/

Jay charged after the hit and run driver. Alfie raced ahead of him. He wasn't sure what Alfie would do if he caught up to the driver given how terrified of strangers he could be at times. Jay had half a mind to hold the asshole down while he let the dog lunch on him once they caught him. And Jay was going to catch this bastard. 

They turned down the lane way. The driver glancing over his shoulder at Alfie and Jay periodically as he charged ahead. Alfie picked up his pace, closing the gab between him and the driver, then leaped into the air knocking the driver to the ground. The man let out a loud yelp as Alfie's teeth made contact with his shoulder. The driver swung wildly trying to free himself of the dog on his back but Alfie held tight. Jay pulled the driver's arm behind his back, slammed his knee into the driver's spine and called Alfie off. The dog didn't move. 

"Alfie heal," Jay said, more forcefully. The dog let go and sat staring at the driver. Jay pulled the driver's other arm behind his back. "You're under arrest." Jay bit out. 

"A doctor! I need a doctor and you're damn sure I'm gonna have that dog put down!" He cried out. Jay ignored him. 

Jay heard feet pounding towards him and looked back to see two uniforms running his way. He passed off the driver to them and walked over to Alfie. Squatting down he pet Alfie's head. "Nice job buddy. You can ride along with me and your mom anytime. Come on let's go see how Jordan's doing." 

Jay collected Alfie's leash and headed back to where Jordan had been hit. He crossed the road just as the ambo pulled away. "Hey, how is he?" Jay asked Erin as he approached. 

"They think he had a concussion, hit his head pretty hard on the pavement but other than that they won't know until the hospital can assess him better." 

Jay nodded and looked past Erin at Molli. "Their dad on route?" 

"No. He's in Boston. Molli's going to stay with me until we know more." Jay nodded again. "Alfie okay?" Erin asked, looking the dog over. 

"Yeah. He's got a hell of a tackle! Knocked that asshole to the ground and latched onto his shoulder tight until I got there." Jay said impressed. 

"That's my boy," Erin praised the dog. They both looked over at Molli then back at each other. Neither one knew what to say to her but they knew they had to try and reassure her. What she saw must have frightened her. Together they approached her. Jay sat on the step and Erin crouched in front of her. 

"Hey sweetie. Why don't we go upstairs and get some lunch." Molli just stared at her a mixture of fright and disbelief in her eyes. "I know you're scared. It's okay. Your mom and the doctors are going to take good care of Jordan. And you can help us take care of Alfie while we wait for them to come home okay?" 

Molli looked at Alfie. He sat patiently in front of her. She raised up her hand to stroke his fur and he licked at her face.

"You can hold Alfie's leash with me if you like." Erin tried, holding out the leash. Molli nodded slightly and took the leash with Erin. Jay and Erin passed relieved looks between them. Jay ran up ahead and held the door open. Alfie was glued to Molli's side the whole way up.


	11. Chapter 10

Erin stood with the fridge door open. She didn't have much food in the house, with their schedules they mostly ate out. She needed to feed Molli, but what? 

"Maybe there's something in the bags Monica had? I brought them up," Jay suggested coming up beside Erin. "We can replace what we use later." 

Erin nodded then glanced over at Molli. Jay had set her up on the couch watching cartoons. Alfie sat beside her and she sat petting his head. After a moment Alfie dropped his head into her lap. She hadn't said a word since witnessing the accident. Erin took a deep breath and looked at Jay. His expression mirrored hers. They could do this. They dealt with traumatized kids all the time at work. This really wasn't that different. They looked through the bags, put any food that would spoil in Erin's fridge, and set about making some lunch for the three of them. 

It took a bit of coaxing to get Molli to eat but Jay had eventually made her laugh with his awful jokes and silly tricks he and Alfie had made up. Erin's heart swelled watching them. She loved seeing Jay like this, relaxed and goofy, such a contrast from how they needed to be at work. And Alfie wouldn't leave Molli's side. He seemed to sense her upset and want to make her feel better, protect her from it. Erin couldn't believe how gentle, loving and sensitive her pup was. After all he's been though, all the cruelty humans had done to him, he still was filled with a need to protect and love. 

Shortly after they finished eating Monica called to check in. The news was encouraging but Jordan needed surgery. It would be some time before Monica would be able to leave and her husband was still waiting for a flight back to Chicago. Erin reassured her they could watch Molli as long as needed and after a brief chat with her Mom, Molli perked up further. Jay and Erin decided there was only one thing to do to keep Molli's mind occupied. 

The park, followed by ice cream! 

Molli loved the park and a bright smile lit her face when they told her where they were going. Molli helped Jay hold Alfie's leash and slipped her other hand into Erin's as they walked. Jay looked down at the four of them joined and an ache he didn't understand filled his chest. He shook the feeling off as they approached the park. 

"Okay munchkin, where too first? Slide or swings?"

"Will you push me on the swings?" Molli asked shyly. "Please?"

Jay smiled, "Sure thing," he said waving his arm out for her to lead the way. Jay passed Erin the leash, "I get rewarded for this right? Pulling munchkin duty?" A cocky smile spread across his face and Erin threw her head back and laughed. 

"No one asked you to stay Halstead, you can bail any time if this cramps your style so much," she teased. 

"No cramps here, just hoping it will earn me some points? You know hot guy interacting with cute kid. Don't you girls like that stuff?" He winked at her. 

Erin rolled her eyes and tried to suppress her smile. He didn't need encouragement. *Yeah we like it all right, especially when the guy is as hot as you*, she laughed to herself. 

Enin and Alfie walked the perimeter of the playground, Alfie loved being active and outside, while Jay pushed Molli on the swings. Both Erin and Alfie would stop and watch, amused, every time Molli screeched with delight when Jay pushed her higher. After a few more minutes Molli announced she was going to climb up the jungle gym and go down the slide. The park wasn't busy so Erin and Jay took a seat on a nearby bench to watch her. Jay reclined against the bench throwing his arm up over the back of the seat behind Erin and absentmindedly played with her hair. Alfie lay at their feet. Molli climbed up the stairs, ran across the bridge and flew down the slide over and over calling "watch me this time Erin, watch how fast I go Jay!" Each time Jay and Erin would cheer her on. 

"She's pretty cute." Jay laughed. Erin cocked an eyebrow at him. "What? She's a cute kid."

"Your maternal instincts kicking in there detective? Is your clock ticking loudly in your ears?" Erin teased. 

Jay rolled his eyes, "no, not at all. We're not ready for that yet. I'm just saying she's a cute kid is all."

Erin stopped breathing for a moment. *We, he said we*, she thought, panic coursing though her. Erin was sure motherhood was not something she was equipped for. 

"Easy there, don't go bolting on me," Jay whispered in her ear. "I didn't mean anything by it. Kids or no kids, this is good. I don't have any plans," He said, squeezing her hand. "Well except maybe cashing in on how hot you though I looked pushing Molli on the swing," he joked. 

Erin's mouth fell open and she smacked him hard on the chest. She hated that he knew her so well. He could practically read her every though. And she hated how cocky he could be at times. But she knew he was right. She wanted him. Jay caught her hand and they began fake wrestling a little and laughing when a ear piercing scream shattered the moment and brought their eyes back to the playground and the last place they saw Molli. 

She wasn't there. 

Instead she lay in the sand two feet below the stairs she had been climbing. Simultaneously Erin, Jay and Alfie all shot forward towards Molli. She begain to roll over, crying as she tried to sit up. 

Erin and Jay silently kicked themselves for taking their eyes off of her as they dropped to their knees beside Molli. 

"Are you okay? What happened?" They asked on top of each other. Alfie butted in the middle and began licking the small girls tears from her cheeks. Within seconds her tears turned to giggles. 

"Alfie," Molli tried to get out between smiling gasps for air, "Alfie stop," she giggles harder and put her hands in front of her face. Alfie dutifully stopped and sat in front of her. 

"Are you okay sweetie," Erin asked gently. Molli nodded her head and Jay helped her stand and brush the sand off. They gave her a once over but she claimed not to be in any pain and seemed unharmed. 

"Can I go back on the slide now?" She begged. 

"If you're sure you're okay," Erin agreed tentatively. Molli nodded and ran for the ladder. Jay, Erin and Alfie returned to the bench but this time they didn't take their eyes off of her. 

After a short while Molli announced she was ready for ice cream. The group headed down the street and sat outside the icecream shop enjoying their treats. When she though Jay and Erin weren't looking Molli snuck tastes of her ice cream to Alfie. 

As they were finishing up Molli began to yawn. "What do you say we head home for some tv time before dinner?" Erin asked thinking Molli could probably use a rest after the events of the day. 

"Really? Mommy never lets us have tv before dinner!" She exclaimed. 

"I'm sure she'll be fine with it this one time ," Jay reassured her. They all headed home. 

Erin helped Molli wash up from their outing then got her a pillow and blanket while Jay searched the tv for an appropriate movie. Once Molli was settled on the couch Erin and Jay set about figuring out dinner and discussing what they'd do if Molli needed to spend the night. They'd been sitting at the breakfast bar for awhile when Erin decided to check on Molli. She quietly slipped off her stool and crossed the short distance to the couch. The sweet sight before her had her smiling.

There on the couch Molli and Alfie lay nose to nose sound asleep. Molli had her arm wrapped around the dog and Alfie his paw around Molli. 

"They're so sweet," Erin said, pulling her cell phone from her pocket and snapping a few pictures. 

Jay came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He laughed quietly, "now who's maternal clock is ticking?" 

She smacked his arm playfully, "shut up," she whispered. "It is not."

"Mmm hmm," he hummed and planted a kiss on her lips. He slid his hands down to hers and spun her around, deepening the kiss. Erin slid her hands up his chest and went up on tiptoes to get closer. When Jay's hands slid down to her ass Erin broke the kiss and pushed lightly against him. 

"Jay," Erin admonished.

"What?" He questioned innocently. 

"Molli," she exclaimed, by way of explanation. 

Jay smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, can't help myself," he shrugged. 

"Guess we should finish making dinner." Erin sighed, there was definitely one disadvantage to taking care of kids. Jay nodded and they went back to the kitchen to finish dinner preparations.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a really long time since I've updated this story. I do have plans for several more chapters and hope to get to them soon. Thanks for hanging in there with me!

"Alfie let's go!" Jay commanded impatiently. 

The dog had taken an interest in the buckets of flowers outside the Vietnamese market on their way home from their evening walk. He inspected each one, sniffing them up and down before sitting stubbornly in front of the bucket of colourful lilies, ignoring the fact that the shop keeper was packing his outdoor displays away for the night. Jay had tried everything short of picking the damn dog up to get him to move. Nothing worked. It wasn't like Alfie to be so stubborn and disobedient. Jay sighed. Clearly the dog had his own agenda this evening. 

"What Alfie. What do you want?"Jay pleaded, exasperated. The dog turned his head to look up at Jay then back at the flowers. "Flowers? Really? You want me to buy you flowers?" 

Alfie barked. Jay couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. He was about to tell the dog to forget it when it dawned on him he'd never bought Erin flowers before. With a shrug he fished out some money to pay the shop keeper and picked up a bunch. 

"Will these do?" He asked the dog. 

Alfie rose to his feet and began walking towards home. Jay shook his head and muttered at the dog. The things he did to win favour with the mutt, but at least he'd get to see Erin smile at their surprise purchase when she got off shift tonight. 

As he rounded the corner onto Erin's street he saw two young men hovering at the entrance to an alley. The cop in him was immediately suspicious but he was tired and hadn't eaten in hours and just wanted to get the dog home so he told himself to walk past and mind his own business. 

As he approached one of the young men stepped into his path, forcing Jay to stop. "Can I help you with something?" Jay asked casually, quickly assessing his options and the man who began to pace around behind him. 

"Yeah," said the man in front of him. "You can give me your wallet," he demanded. 

Jay couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips. These boys had no idea who they were holding up. They were in for a shock. 

"You think it's a game man?" The man asked, agitated, and pulled out a gun. 

The smile left Jay's lips. Jay wasn't carrying, not expecting any trouble in Erin's neighbourhood while he walked the dog, especially not this early in the evening. Jay ran through scenarios in his head deciding which was his best course of action when a sharp cool blade came to rest on his throat, and the man holding it stepped into him. 

"He told you to give him your wallet," the man with the knife spit out. 

The man with the gun began yelling at Jay and waving his weapon back and forth. His tone made Alfie's ears press back and he began growling and barking at the men.

"Shut that dog up or we'll kill him too...." the gunman yelled. 

Alfie leaped up at the man, ripping the leash from Jay's hand. His gun flew from his hand as the man fell backwards. Startled, the man holding the knife to Jay's throat slackened his hold slightly and Jay took the opportunity. He kicked back as hard as he could and twisted around when his attacker buckled from the sharp pain. But he recovered quickly and grabbed at Jay again. They struggled wildly, Jay feeling a sharp blow to his ribs before Jay was able to twist the knife out of his attackers hand and bring it down into his thigh. The man yelled in pain and dropped to the ground. Jay removed the knife from his attackers leg and kicked him hard in the head. The blow knocked him unconscious and Jay turned to face the gun man. 

Alfie had a hold of the man's neck and wouldn't let go. The man kept kicking and punching at the dog but Alfie wouldn't let go. Before Jay could pounce, the man reached out and grabbed his gun. He closed his fingers around the trigger and shot it at the dog, the bullet making contact with Alfie's abdomen. Alfie whined and yelped, falling off the man. He scrambled to his feet and ran. 

The gun shot echoed in Jay's head "Nooo!" Jay breathed out, forgetting the fleeing assailant and dropping to his knees beside Alfie. 

"Alfie," Jay whispered. He took off his jacket and applied pressure to the open wound. With his other hand he fished out his phone, frantically connecting with dispatch requesting assistance. 

The ambulance attendants tried to evaluate Jay but he was only concerned with getting Alfie to help. They loaded the dog in a cruser and headed out to an animal hospital while uniforms dealt with the unconscious assailant. Jay quickly gave a description of the fleeing gunman and the details of the assault before heading to the animal hospital. Erin's flowers lay scattered and crumpled on the sidewalk, forgotten. 

When he got there he was informed Alfie was in surgery and that it would take awhile before they knew anything. Jay sat heavy in the waiting room chairs and pulled his phone back out, dreading the call to Erin. If Alfie didn't make it she'd be heartbroken. Who was he kidding, Jay's heart would break too but he had no one to blame but himself.


	13. Chapter 12

Alfie lay on the soft mound of blankets they'd arranged for him when they got home from the vet, with Jay curled around him. 

"What are you doing," Erin asked as she walked in the room. 

"Watching the game," Jay stayed with obviousness. 

"From down there," Erin laughed. 

Jay looked back and forth between Alfie and Erin. "He just got home from a week in the hospital, he needs some cuddles," Jay rationalized. 

Erin smiled at her boys. This was one week she was glad was over. When Jay had called her from the vet after he'd been attacked her heart had gone into overdrive worrying about them both. She flew across town, lights and sirens on not caring if she was breaking the rules. It was only after she'd hugged Jay for a solid ten minutes that she noticed the cut in his shirt and blood around it. Thankfully the stab wound wasn't serious but for a few hours Erin went numb waiting to hear if Alfie made it through surgery while Jay was getting stitched up. 

They visited Alfie every day while he recovered in the animal hospital. His ears would perk up when they arrived. They pet him and told him how proud they were of him for protecting Jay. His tail would thump enthusiastically but the stitches in his abdomen and pain killers kept him laying down. It broke their hearts to leave him there, whining after them in a cage, but they knew it was where he needed to be in order to get better. 

"You took the cone off," Erin admonished Jay. 

"I'm right here, I won't let him pick at his belly. He hates that thing," Jay had nothing but sympathy for the poor dog who'd been through so much saving Jay's life. 

"You'll have to get up at some point," she reasoned. 

"Then I'll put it back on, but I pretty much planned on spending the night out here with him," Jay argued. 

Erin shook her head at Jay. He scowled at her then sighed. "Erin he saved my life. The damn dog took a bullet for me," Jay reminded her, his voice cracking at the end. 

At his words Erin marched back into the bedroom. Jay was frustrated and confused. Why the hell was she mad? Couldn't she understand how he felt? She fussed over the dog every damn day and she really wanted to bust his balls over giving Alfie a little extra tlc right now? 

A moment later she came out arms overflowing with pillows and blankets. 

"Help me with this," she asked her voice muffled by her load. 

"What are you doing?" Jay asked, still perplexed by her behaviour. 

"If we're gonna camp out on the floor with him tonight, we can at least be comfortable," she said as though her actions were obvious. Erin didn't need the reminder that things could have turned out so much worse. She didn't want to do anything to jeopardize Alfie's recovery but she also didn't want to be far away from either of her boys tonight so if Jay planned on camping out with the dog, she would too. 

Jay smiled and got up to help her rearrange the living room floor into a comfy bed for the three of them. They spent the rest of the evening watching tv, eventually falling asleep with the dog between them. 

They were a bit worried about taking Alfie to the district the next day, but didn't want to leave him home alone locked in a crate so he couldn't hurt himself. They shouldn't have wasted any time with worry because the second they walked in the door Platt was all over Alfie kissing and sweet talking him. She took his leash from Erin. 

"He's not going down to the roll up today, or any day until he's back to himself," Platt announced pointing to the place behind the counter she'd set up for him. 

"Sarge, I'm not sure that's allowed," Erin began. 

"Not allowed? By who? Its my district, my desk. I want a dog behind it, they'll be a dog behind it," she barked at Erin. 

Erin didn't argue. She felt better knowing Alfie would have someone keeping an eye on him and if Platt wanted to take that on Erin wasn't going to argue. She thanked Platt, reminding her to call up if the dog needed anything then headed up to the bullpen. 

"Where's the dog?" Hank greeted Erin and Jay gruffly as they came up the last steps. 

"Good morning to you too," Erin replied sarcastically. 

Hank rolled his eyes. "I though you were supposed to keep an eye on him till the stitches came out, you didn't leave him down in the roll up did you?" It was just an animal but Erin resented the accusatory tone in Hank's voice. She was a good dog mom damn it! Besides, he was the one against her getting the dog to begin with. 

"Platt has him," she shot back. "She wants to keep him behind the front desk."

"Hmm," he grumbled. "There's a new case on your desk," he said gruffly before heading back into his office. 

Erin smiled. She swore if she didn't know better Hank was disappointed the dog didn't come upstairs with her. Alfie seemed to have won everyone over.


	14. Chapter 13

They'd bought the dog a cake. 

Erin couldn't believe it. She was the first one to admit she spoiled and pampered Alfie but to watch a room full of grown ass men, men who took down criminals for a living, present a dog with a 'Happy Adoption Day' cake was a sight to behold. 

She also couldn't believe it had been three years since Hank had surprised her with Alfie. 

She remembered how emotional she'd been, and then scared she'd made the wrong decision and wouldn't be a good mom for him. Now she couldn't imagine not having him in her life. That first spark of connection she'd felt to him had only grown stronger. He seemed to read her mind and anticipate her actions, always knowing when she needed an extra cuddle after an emotional case or when to back off when she needed space. And he was even more protective of her than his daddy. 

He'd brought her and Jay closer too. They'd bonded over the dog in a way she would have laughed at three years ago. Somewhere along the line Jay had moved in permanently and they'd become a little family. 

But lately she'd gotten the sense that Jay didn't think their family was complete. She remembered their conversation in the kitchen the night they'd watched Molli after Jordan was hit by a car. He'd said he was good, kids or no kids. But she knew he'd changed his mind. She knew Jay wanted a family. He never pushed but she picked up on the little cues. The way he'd crouch down and talk all sweet to the toddlers that came running up to pet Alfie when they walked him. The way he'd always find a minute to toss the ball with Jordan or take the time to have a pretend cup of tea with Molli on the front stoop and declare with enthusiasm that it was the best tea in the world. 

He knew her history, her issues and she could see he tried to make sure she felt like she was enough for him. But after all he'd given her Jay deserved to have his needs met too. She knew he'd be an amazing father, she saw how he treated the kids they worked with. The way he treated Alfie. He had such empathy and compassion. She could see him playing on the floor with his child like an overgrown kid, doing whatever was necessary to keep them safe, being there to listen when they were upset. She wanted to believe his strengths could compensate for what she lacked. He'd given her so much so she wanted to give him a family. 

If she was being honest, her insides ached when she saw him with kids and his excitement around them was contagious. She'd caught herself looking longingly at the couples pushing strollers and walking their dogs when they took Alfie out for his walk despite her reservations that she wasn't cut out to be a mom. There was no doubt Alfie would enjoy a child. He'd grown into a gentle giant. He loved the attention from children and was gentle and affection with them. Long gone was the fearful pup who'd been abused by cruel men. Alfie was confident, content and incredibly obedient, save a few bad habits the boys in her unit had encouraged through sneaking him treats all the time. 

The night she'd brought up having a baby to Jay she knew it was the right decision from the joy and excitement in his eyes. He'd tried to tamp it down, reassured her he was happy just the way they were, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her with or without kids. Said he was happy as long as there was a smile on her face. But she could see the truth in his eyes. 

So one night when they were making love Erin grabbed Jay's hand when he reached for the condom and stopped him. He looked at her, concerned he'd somehow rushed things. Erin just smiled reassuringly, if not a little nervously. 

"We don't need that," she'd whispered. It took a moment for the smile to spread to Jay's eyes as he took in her meaning. 

"Are you sure," he'd whispered. She knew he was trying to contain his excitement until he knew it was what she wanted too. 

"Yeah," she whispered back. Jay lowered his head and kissed her. It was so sweet and gentle and so full of love Erin felt tears form behind her eyelids. 

But nothing came of it. They'd been trying for almost a year now but each month brought the disappointing news that there was no baby growing inside her. She tried not to get her hopes up. And she refused to be one of those emotional women who cried and got upset because she hadn't yet become pregnant. But she was beginning to hate the little white sticks that mocked her with their negativity each month. 

Alfie always seemed to know when the disappointing news arrived. He'd become increasingly demanding of her attention insisting she play with him. On several occasions he'd managed to get his leash down from the hook and drop it in her lap, his big eyes pleading for a walk. She didn't know if he was trying to distract her from the disappointment or remind her that HE was in fact her baby. 

Jay had been annoyingly perfect through all the months she failed to give him a child. He'd shrug it off, reassure her it was normal to take time, make jokes about enjoying all the practice time and find ways to make her smile and try again. But she felt like she was letting him down. 

She'd gone to the doctor for a check up after ten months of failure, to see if anything was wrong with her body. Afterwards the doctor had recommended fertility treatments. Erin felt like a failure. She couldn't deny the fact that she hadn't always taken care of herself and it was what she'd done back then to prevent her from giving Jay the family he deserved now. Jay had dismissed her self blame. Started quoting statistics he'd read online about how common infertility issues were, especially for couples with high stress jobs. He told her they could stop trying for awhile if it was too much for her. He reassured her again that he was happy, just the two of them and Alfie. But this just made Erin feel even more of a failure. 

Eventually she called the doctor back and got a referral for a fertility specialist but she was beginning to think not getting pregnant was a sign she had no business having a baby. Really, with her family history should she be procreating and bringing more bad news into this world? But she went to the appointment, for Jay. Jay of course was supportive and encouraging. His perfect partner routine was beginning to grate on her. Just once she wished he'd do something stupid, act selfish or unkind. His unwavering love and support on this just highlighted all the ways in which she wasn't good enough and didn't deserve him or his child. 

Erin felt overwhelmed listening to the doctor explain everything they were going to do to her. The idea of having to inject herself with needles full of hormones, repeated internal ultrasounds and all the poking and prodding and blood tests was overwhelming. She wanted to run out of the office and forget the whole thing. Jay must have picked up on her anxiety because he'd reached over and laced his fingers with hers squeezing them reassuringly. Guilt flooded Erin. After everything he'd given her, couldn't she suck it up to give them a baby? 

When the doctor explained the costs Erin almost did cry. Jay's eyes had grown wide and he swollowed hard. There was no way they could afford the rounds of treatment it could take for a chance that maybe they would get pregnant. They'd driven home in silence both overwhelmed and trying to process everything they'd learned. When they got in Erin headed straight for the couch and curled up under a blanket. Alfie, sensing her melancholy, jumped up and snuggled with her. She stroked his fur absentmindedly not wanting to admit how attached to the idea of becoming a mother she was. Not wanting to admit that there was little to no hope it was going to happen now. Not wanting to look at the disappointment Jay was trying to hide from his face. 

Jay didn't know what to do. Like Alfie he'd tried to just shower her with love and affection. He knew Erin was blaming herself and it broke his heart. He felt guilty. She seemed to want this so bad and he couldn't make it happen for her. On a few occasions he'd gotten the sense Erin felt like she needed to do this for him. But the truth was he really was okay if their only 'child' was the four legged, hundred pound goof ball that though he was still a little pup trying to curl up on their laps. He'd said as much to Erin too. Jay knew he was far from perfect. He carried his own baggage and wasn't sure he was equipped to be the perfect father Erin's child deserved but she really seemed to want this and he could picture them playing in the park with Alfie and a little boy or girl of their own. It was a surprise that Erin had changed her mind about having kids but he couldn't deny the little bit of excitement he'd felt when Erin started talking about it. So he'd pushed his doubts down and worked at making this happen for her. 

Now here they were, overwhelmed and disillusioned by the fertility doctor's appointment. Erin was curled up on the couch seeking comfort in Alfie and he was left not knowing how to fix her broken heart. Because despite all her self deprecating comments of 'maybe it's for the best' you'd have to be blind not to see how much she was hurting right now. 

It was when she and Alfie were over at Hank's one night for dinner, Jay having volunteered to work overtime, that she finally lost the battle with her tears. 

"So no baby yet?" Hank asked in his gruff tone between bites of steak. 

Erin looked up surprised. They hadn't told anyone they'd been trying. 

"I heard the two of you talking in the break room a few months back," he explained. 

"Yeah, we were trying for a bit but, it didn't work out," she said trying to wave it off and remain casual. 

Hank didn't get the hint to let the subject drop. He looked at her expectantly. 

Erin sighed, putting down her fork because her appetite has vanished, the perfectly grilled steak having lost all its appeal. "We, umm," she began, trying to figure out what she could get out without becoming overly emotional, because she knew how little use Hank had for needless emotions. "We tried for awhile, the doctor sent us to a fertility clinic but the cost, it's just way above what we can afford. So," she took a calming breath, "so it's probably not gonna happen." she said in a way she hoped downplayed the importance of it. 

But he could see the disappointment in her eyes. He didn't miss the way the dog got up from the spot he was napping in on the dining room rug where the setting sunlight streaked across the floor to nudge his head under Erin's hand and lay it on her lap. That dog read Erin's emotions so well it was eerie. 

He has no reply for her, he'd never been good with this kind of thing, fixing broken hearts with flowery words of comfort. He was a man of action not reflection and this left him feeling like he needed to somehow fix this for her. His last bite of expensive steak ended up feeling like sand paper in his mouth. He abruptly mumbled an excuse to leave the table and disappeared. 

Erin knew she'd over shared and wasn't surprised by his retreat. With a resigned sigh she began clearing the table because that was the house rule. The cook didn't clean in the Voight household. So Erin was on dish duty. 

She stood at the counter watching the sink full of dirty dishes fill with soapy bubbles when a soft thwack on the counter beside her made her turn. Hank's hand retreated to reveal a not so small stack of neatly piled bills. 

Erin looked between him and the money dumbfounded. 

"I'd like another grandchild. I'd like to see you experience the joy of being a mother. ..." he stated matter of factly. 

And then it happened. The dam broke. All the disappointment, self blame and fear welled up in her eyes and she couldn't hold it back. The loss of control felt unbearable. 

"Hank," she shook her head, "I can't accept this."

"You can. You will," he said putting his hand on her shoulder to steady her under the wave of emotion he saw her loosing the battle with. "What's the point in having money if I can't use it to bring happiness to the people I love?" He asked, gently rubbing her back. 

The tears fell. She felt the dog's warmth pressed up against her hip, no idea where he came from. It's was all too much. The dog intuitively knowing she needed to be comforted, Hank's grand fairy-godfather gesture, Jay's unwavering love and support. She didn't deserve it. She didn't see why no one else could see that. She wanted to run, be left alone in misery instead of having to try and be strong and accept the things she couldn't have, shouldn't dare to ask for after all she'd done. But the dog wouldn't stop pressing into her side and Hank only moved closer, pulling her against him and shushing her sobs while he rubbed her back as if she were a little girl. She couldn't stand it anymore. He needed to know how much she didn't deserve this. 

"I'm such a failure, I can't even give him a child after all I've put him through. He's so disappointed in me." She confessed. 

"Erin he's not." Hank said firmly. "That man loves you." 

"He is. He hasn't said it but I can see it in his eyes. He deserves better. He deserves more than I can give him. Things have been awful since the doctors appointment. It's like he doesn't want to be around me." She admitted shamefully. "Can I stay here tonight?" 

"Erin you need to go home and talk to him, face this." Hank tried to be gentle but firm, tough love was always what got results for him. 

"I can't. Not tonight. I can't look in his eyes and see how much I've let him down. Please Hank," she pleaded. 

He relented and agreed only because he knew that look in her eyes, the one that scared him, the one that said she was on the edge and was capable of going out and doing something they'd all end up regretting. 

Erin fired off a quick text to Jay telling him she and Alfie would be spending the night at Hank's and headed to bed. 

Sensing something was off, even though she claimed she was tired and didn't want to drive home since Jay would be working so late, Jay managed to get away earlier from his overtime shift and headed to Hank's house. 

The awkward exchange he and Hank had when Jay arrived left Jay feeling like he was sixteen and sneaking though his girlfriend's house, half expecting her dad to appear, shotgun in hand, as he climbed the stairs to Erin's old room. 

He found her in bed, realizing things were much worse then he originally thought when he saw her curled around the dog she'd never allowed to sleep in the bed with them. 

They had a long talk. The kind they weren't good at, full of emotion and honesty. There were fits and starts as they struggled to find the words, to sort out the misunderstandings that had grown between them. Erin confessed her dark fears, her desire to make him happy even though she was terrified she'd mess up being a mom. Jay shared his own fears and doubts with Erin. Letting her know that his baggage weighed heavy on him too. He told her what an incredible mom she'd make, and how proud he was of what she'd overcome, how much he admired her strength, how big her heart was. He admitted how helpless he felt after the doctors appointment and he didn't know how to make her feel better so instead he did nothing, not wanting to make things worse. Again he explained that he was happy just them and the dog. That the looks she thought were disappointment were concern and helplessness because he felt powerless to fix this. He wanted her happy, whatever that meant and if they had to take Hank's money, wherever the hell it came from, to do that then he'd be willing to put his pride aside and accept the help. 

They laid in silence for a long time absently stroking Alfie's fur as he snuggled between them, listening to the wind make the window rattle. Erin turned Jay's words over in her head. He'd laid everything out, been completely honest with her. She couldn't believe how badly she'd read him. She knew she has to dig deep and decide what she really wanted. She was afraid. She'd been letting that fear make all the decisions this last year. She knew she could end up heartbroken but after listening to Jay she wanted to take that chance. 

"I want to have your baby Jay," she whispered into the darkness.


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know I said this would be the last chapter but I started writing and realized it would take two to finish things off. Hope you enjoy'

He started doing strange things.  
The dog that was. At first he'd walk up and seemed to sniff and paw at her stomach causing Erin to wonder if she had dropped food on her shirt. Then he started laying across her lap when she'd watch tv, trying to burrow into her stomach. She was all for cuddling with Alfie but at about a hundred pounds he was far from a lap dog. And he needed to leave her stomach the hell alone. 

One day while she was out for a walk with him she accidentally bumped into a man walking the other way, spilling her coffee. Both Erin and the man rushed to apologize, the man reaching out instictively towards her coffee stained shirt as he asked if she was okay. Alfie pushed between them barking and growling. His behaviour shocked Erin. The man posed no threat to her and Alfie had long since outgrew his fear and irrational behaviour around strangers in the past three years. 

Almost two weeks after the strange behaviour began Erin was making small talk with the receptionist, Ava, at the fertility clinic. She was back in for more tests but she already knew what the results would be. Now at the end of their forth cycle of hormone treatments Erin wasn't holding out much hope that they'd been successful, she hadn't managed to ovulate despite sticking herself with needles full of stuff that Jay dubbed 'magic baby making juice' that made her head crazy, her body feel weird and her emotions raw. She was starting to prepare herself for the reality that their baby was going to be conceived under a microscope in a petri dish and then inserted into her. It was about the least romantic thing she could imagine. The receptionist got a funny smile on her face when Erin started talking about how strange Alfie was acting lately. Erin didn't think much of it. She knew she sounded like a crazy dog lady. 

She dutifully took her little plastic jar to the bathroom, remembering a time when she'd had to pee in a cup to keep her job. The whole process seemed cold and clinical. Even their love making was now controlled by numbers and science. She understood why couples with infertility issues were three times as likely to separate, one of many many facts the nurse practitioner had laid on them during their first real appointment. She'd handed them pamphlets on couples counselling along with other helpful pamphlets on diet, exercise, stress reduction and the side affects if hormone treatments. And that was all before the doctor came in the room. They'd read them all and then Jay had googled even more information and even found videos for them to watch online. He stocked the fridge with foods that were supposed to help with fertility. She'd become so overwhelmed trying to remember when the best time to eat certain foods were and which position to lay in after sex and all the other gazillion helpful ways to make their treatments a success she lost her shit one night after starting this last round. 

"I said I want a damn cheese burger," she'd screamed at Jay when he'd tried to talk her into yet another one of his 'baby making meals' for dinner. "I don't give a shit how much fibre or protein is in that soup, I'm not a god damn lab rat! And I'm sick of being treated like one. One fucking cheese burger isn't gonna make a god damn difference!" 

Jay froze, eyes wide. Alfie, who'd been chewing on a toy near Erin's feet got up and slipped in behind Jay the way he always did whenever he thought he was in trouble with her. 

"Erin, I," Jay began. 

"You what? What Jay? You're just trying to be helpful? Supportive? Remind me of everything I'm doing wrong? You have no fucking clue what it's like. It's not your body that gets stuck with needles, it's not your blood they take, it's not your vagina they poke and probe, it's not you that has to remember to do fifty fucking thousand things a day to try and force your body to make a baby and it's not you that feels like a useless idiot when it doesn't work!" 

She watched a barage of emotions cross Jay's face and for a moment she'd expected him to scream back at her, or worse, walk out. She regretted her words immediately, knowing damn well Jay was trying to do everything he could to be present and supportive through this. He'd gone to every doctors appointment, surprised her with a spa day to help her relax and forget the stress and intrusiveness of everything she was going through, and he went out of his way to make romantic evenings to help keep things from feeling so clinical and planned in the bedroom. He didn't scream back and he didn't leave. 

"Get your coat," he'd almost whispered as he turned to turn off the stove. "If we leave now we can probably get a table at The Pig. Unless you want to go elsewhere but they make you're favourite cheese burger." She could hear him trying to contain his emotions. 

"Jay, I'm sorry,I didn't mean to..."

"Just get your coat," he said cutting her off. 

The drive was painfully quiet and the food, although she was sure it was prepared with its usual perfection, tasted bland and pasty. Erin forced it down anyway, too scared of what Jay would do if she didn't eat it after she'd acted like a complete lunatic. 

She excused herself to the bathroom after she finished, more to get a moment of reprieve from the tension between them. She kicked herself mentally. She couldn't keep her shit together. She was overwhelmed and out of control and hated it. Jay had been wonderful throughout the whole process. She knew his overzealousness had simply just been his way of being supportive. Jay never did anything halfway. She should be grateful she had a man like him and she knew this was hard on him too. He'd take her place in a minute if he could, she had no doubt. She collected herself and headed back to the table. Tears filled her eyes when she got there. A slice of chocolate blackout cake, her favourite dessert on the planet, was placed in front of her seat waiting for her. She looked over at Jay. 

"I'm sorry, you're right. I took it way to far, I just.." he started. 

"No, Jay you didn't, I acted like a lunatic. It's me that needs to apologize," she said shakily while she sat down. 

They stared across the table at each other for a long moment, having always communicated best that way. Jay reached across the table and offered his hand. Erin took it without hesitation. 

"Let's take a month off, after this cycle. Just forget about it, have some fun, maybe a weekend away?" He suggested. 

"Sure," she agreed. 

"And I'll back off with all the food and stuff,"

Erin shook her head. "I appreciate it Jay, I do it's just," 

"It makes you think about it too much," he finished her sentence for her. 

"Everyone keeps telling me to relax," she tried to explain. 

"And it's impossible if it's all anyone talks to you about," he finished for her again. 

She nodded. "I love you," she said not knowing how else to put into words how she felt. 

"I love you too, just tell me what you need and that's what I'll do, okay?" He squeezed her hand. 

She nodded again. "I really am sorry I lost it earlier," she said again. 

It was Jay's turn to nod. They sat holding hands in silence once more, but this time it was the comfortable space they loved to share. 

Eventually Jay smiled cheekily and produced a fork, "how about we call it even and you split your cake with me?"

Erin pretended to think about his offer for a minute before she smiled back and pushed the plate into the centre of the table for them to share. 

The drive home was much different then the one to the restaurant. Jay reached over and laced Erin's fingers through his, placing their joined hands high on her thigh and stealing glances at her while he drove. She ran her thumb softly up and down over his, biting her lip in anticipation of how she'd properly apologize when they got home. 

Her plans were delayed when the reality that Alfie needed to be walked greeted them at the front door. Jay insisted on taking him and Erin took advantage of her time alone to prepare Jay's apology. 

The apartment was mostly dark when he got back from walking the dog. Jay had gotten the vibe in the car there'd be some making up when they got home but it appeared Erin had gone to bed. He tried not to be disappointed, she was clearly exhausted and whatever the hell was in those hormone injections had turned his girl into an unpredictable, emotional nightmare. Although he'd never say that out loud, not even when she wasn't around. He didn't have a death wish. He'd been biting his tongue a lot lately reminding himself that once they were done making a baby he'd get his Erin back. He had nothing but empathy for her with what the doctors were putting her though and was in awe she'd endured as much as she had already. 

Jay headed to the bedroom, figuring he'd at least kiss her goodnight. He rounded the corner and when he spied her a huge smile crept across his face. Erin lay across the bed wearing his favourite black silk and lace nightie. 

"Though maybe you'd enjoy my apology more like this," she teased. 

Jay didn't answer, just stripped if his shirt, dropped his jeans and climbed on the bed beside her. 

He lay next to her and softly teased his finger tips up and down her arm, then leg. Her eyes were dilated with desire, her breathing shallow as she reached up to run her hands over his chest. He smiled softly at her, dipped his head to kiss her gently then pulled back to look at her again. She was smiling back at him now as she slid her fingers into his hair and pulled him down for a deeper kiss. 

They made love, slow and sweet, savouring the feel and taste of each other, the way they use to before it became all about making a baby. Afterwards they snuggled in close, arms and legs tangled in each other and drifted to sleep. It was the most relaxed Erin felt in a long time. 

"So ready?" The technician asked, interrupting Erin's memories of that passionate night. Erin's head jerked up. She'd been sitting on the edge of the exam table in a gown waiting for, rather dreading her arrival. Apparently the plan had changed after she saw the nurse and she was getting another ultrasound today. 

"Yeah, let's get this over with," Erin said trying to be friendly and laying back. But to Erin's surprise and relief the technician began preparing her belly for exam. "You're not doing an internal one?"

"Not just yet," the technician said flatly offering no more explanation. 

Erin lay still and confused while the wand ran over her abdomen, at points pushing hard into her pelvic area. After a few minutes she excused herself leaving Erin laying in the semi darkness wishing Jay was there with her. This was the first appointment he'd missed but Hank had called this morning insisting he needed Jay on a scene asap. 

The technician returned with the doctor in tow. He said hello then hovered over the technicians shoulder squinting at the monitor while she again ran the wand over Erin's pelvic region. They exchanged quiet words Erin didn't understand. 

"Is everything okay?" She asked, finally finding her voice. 

The doctor looked over and smiled at her. "Why don't you go get dressed and we'll talk then," he said wiping the gel off Erin's stomach. 

She felt sick. She had no idea what they'd found so interesting, or was it concerning? She had a hard time making out their facial expressions in the darkened room, but she was nervous now. She fumbled with her clothes, as she tried to dress. The residue from the ultrasound gel made her shirt stick to her stomach uncomfortably, she, as usual, wished she could just go home and shower off the appointment. 

Thankfully when she returned to the exam room the doctor was waiting for her. 

"So I have some news," he began. "It seems this round was successful."

Erin stared at him blankly trying to process his words. The doctor smiled at her, he was likely use to women acting like complete idiots in his office. 

"Erin, you're pregnant," he said enthusiastically, "congratulations dear!" 

"I am?" She asked dumbfounded. 

The doctor nodded and started explaining what they'd seen in the ultrasound. Erin felt dizzy and she couldn't focus on his words. She caught something she though meant the baby was attached to her uterine wall in a way the doctor was apparently quite pleased with but most of what he said was lost. 

Erin's mind flew back to the night she'd freaked out on Jay and he took her to the Purple Pig, she smiled. That must have been when it happened. 

"Ah there we go," the doctor chuckled when he saw her smile, "I know it can be hard to believe at first but you really are pregnant Erin," he reassured her. 

She managed to mumble her way through the rest of the appointment still stunned by the news. When she got back to the receptionist desk Ava smiled at her. 

"Congratulations," she said quietly. "I knew you were pregnant as soon as you started telling me about Alfie's antics. My dog acted like that with all three of my babies," she laughed. "I'm so happy for you!" 

Erin nodded and tried to smile but she still hadn't got her barings. The office felt small and she needed to escape. She quickly said her goodbyes and headed down to the car. 

She sat behind the wheel for a long time staring at nothing. "I'm pregnant," she whispered over and over. "Pregnant," but no matter how many times she said it she still couldn't believe it. Eventually her trance was broken by her phone ringing. She looked at the screen. Jay's name lit it up. 

"Oh my god!" She choked out. She felt guilty and heart broken all at once. The one appointment he missed... he'd be so disappointed. "Hi," she answered shakily. 

"Hey," he said "just checking in, figured you'd be back at the district by now but we just got in and you're not here."

Erin couldn't speak, trying to fight back the urge to cry. Hearing his voice broke her fog of disbelief and she was suddenly terrified. She was pregnant. Her, Erin Lindsay. She had a life growing inside her. A person. Someone who was going to depend on her and look to her for guidance. How was she going to do this? What had she been thinking? 

"Erin?" Jay asked becoming concerned. 

A strangled sob slipped out. 

"Erin? What's wrong? Where are you?" Jay asked more forcefully. 

She took a hiccupped breath. "I'm, I'm at the doctors, in the parking lot." 

"Stay there," he ordered, the unsteadiness of her voice sending panic through him. "I'm coming to you." 

He found her gripping the steering wheel staring blankly ahead, a few tears staining her cheeks, and cursed Voight to hell. The one appointment he missed and something had gone horribly wrong. He opened Erin's door, careful not to startle her, and crouched down beside her trying to pull her into him. 

It took a few minutes before she could form words. 

"Erin what happened," Jay coaxed. 

She wiped her hands over her face and looked up at him. She felt like an idiot for obviously scaring him but the news had shocked her. It was the last thing she was expecting to hear today. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, it's just when they told me, I didn't know what to do, it didn't sink in and then you weren't here and I guess just all these months of stress, and I just lost it I guess," she said rambling nonsense. 

Jay tried to make sense of what she was trying to tell him. "When they told you what Erin?" He asked, his mind still racing down a list of all the horrible things that could be wrong with her. 

"They, umm, they did an ultrasound, they said," she stopped and took a breath. This wasn't how she wanted to tell him. She needed to pull her shit together. She took one more calming breath. "I'm pregnant," she said with as much confidence as she could muster. 

She watched Jay's face as her words sunk in. He's concern turned to confusion, she didn't blame him for that she was a raving lunitic after all, then surprise, then a huge smile broke out across his face. 

"You're?" He asked disbelievingly. 

"Yeah," she couldn't help but smile at the look on his face.

"Are you, is it okay?" He asked, his hand moving around to her flat tummy. 

An involuntary giggle escaped her lips. Not thirty seconds into finding out he was going to be a dad and Jay was already in full blown overprotective mode. 

"Yeah," she said. "The doctor said he was happy with the way things looked. We go back again in a couple weeks to check if everything is good and then they'll transfer us to my obgyn if everything is still good. At least I think that's what he said. I don't know. I was a bit overwhelmed," She confessed. 

Jay let out a long breath. "You scared the shit out of me." 

"I know, I'm sorry, I just, it was just overwhelming and then you called and I felt so guilty you weren't here and," 

He interrupted her with a firm kiss on the lips. 

"Cheese burgers," he laughed. 

"What?"

"Cheese burgers, best baby making food on earth!" He proclaimed remembering the night they'd had Purple Pig. 

They both burst out laughing.


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it! The final chapter of this story. I hope you enjoyed this little piece of puppy fluff! Huge shout out to a&c for providing the inspiration and early direction for the story. And of course so much love to everyone who has left reviews or sent me messages, brainstormed ideas or encouraged me when I felt stuck on this and all my writing. It's overwhelming to have so much support. Your words mean so much, I can't even tell you! I'm not always great at replying to every review but please know how much I appreciate the feedback. I know this story took a more serious tone for a bit but I decided to end things off the way they began, light and fluffy, hope you enjoy xoxo.

They let Alfie tell the team about the baby. With the craziness of Erin's moods and the constant doctor's appointments it had been hard keeping it a secret from the tight-nit group that they were getting help trying for a baby. She was pretty sure the boys were terrified of her the way she'd been acting lately and would be relieved to know that the craziness would be ending soon. 

So after the follow up appointment to make sure everything looked good they came into work with treats for the team and a 'I'm gonna be a big brother' bandana tied around Alfie's neck. They took him up to the bullpen instead of the roll up to make the announcement. Erin knew it was a bit early to be sharing the news but she, Jay and Hank decided if she was going to stay on active duty as long as she could the team needed to know and help take measures to keep her and the baby safe. 

To say they were thrilled was an understatement. Erin had more than her fill of squeezing hugs from everyone as the team took a moment to celebrate before getting back to work. Thankfully she wasn't as emotional as she was the night when they'd stopped by Hank's to give him the news. Poppa Hank had been over the moon, surprising even Jay with an affectionate hug. 

/

Jay Halstead was cuddling a doll. A damn doll. Why? Because when your partner was thirty five weeks pregnant and someone told her a story of how their seemingly docile dog attacked their new baby out of jealousy you spend the next three nights getting no sleep while she panicked over how to get their dog ready for the baby. Jay tried to reassure her Alfie would be fine. He already seemed attached to the baby, the way he followed Erin everywhere, she even had to kick him out of the bathroom daily. There was no way Jay would believe Alfie would have a problem but Erin was stuck on it and stressing herself and everyone around her out about it. He was sure this had more to do with her insecurities about being a mom than the dog. Eventually he'd had enough of hearing her freak out over all the shocking things she was reading thanks to google and called the trainer they used when Alfie was a pup. They'd booked an appointment and left it with a list of things to help Alfie adjust. This damn doll was one of them. Because apparently preparing your dog for a baby was actually a thing. 

So now he had to hold the damn thing while he watched the hockey game because it was supposed to help Alfie understand his position in the family or some nonsense. He knew two things for sure though; Erin was letting him sleep now that the doll was in the house; and Jay swore Alfie was laughing at him every time he saw Jay with the doll. Jay knew his brother was laughing at him. And Jay swore if Will looked across the couch and snickered at him one more time he was gonna make sure he hit him hard enough Will's jaw would be wired firmly shut for the next six to eight weeks. 

/

Of course Jay wasn't home the evening she went into labour. She was home alone with Alfie. She'd had a long shower, because climbing in and out of the tub was not an option at thirty nine weeks and three days pregnant, not that she was counting, and she curled up on the couch with a cup of tea and her favourite snacks, savouring the peace. 

She had a hunch with her and Jay's DNA mixing together this baby was gonna make its presence known all through the building, it was already doing backflips all night long preventing her from sleeping, and she just wanted one last night of being Erin. So she'd convinced Jay to go hang out with his boys and blow of some steam so she could have the apartment to her self one last time. 

At close to midnight she decided to call it a night. She took Alfie for a short walk, grateful she wouldn't have to climb the stairs with her beachball of a stomach much longer, sent Jay a quick text letting him know she was back, because he panicked now if she was out late with the dog for too long, then went to use the bathroom. 

The blood she saw in her underwear sent her heart racing. It took a moment for her to remember that at this late in the game she was supposed to expect things like this. She'd been terrified for weeks her water was gonna break in the middle of the bullpen, because yes damn it she was still working even if it meant being reduced to a glorified secretary. But she didn't want to have to spend the rest of her life with the embarrassment of going into labour like that in front of the boys. She was supposed to BE one of the boys and they'd never look at her the same again if that happened. 

She called Jay but when he didn't pick up, the noise level in the bar was probably too loud, she called Will. He was on shift but thankfully picked up on the second ring. He reassured her that she was probably okay, just loosing her mucous plug, but wanted her to come in and get checked out. He kept her on the phone but had one of the nurses call her an ambulance. 

"Will, I'm sure Jay will call back any second, he can come bring me," she pleaded not wanting the fuss or embarrassment of having an ambulance show up. And there was no way in hell Will would be the doctor examining her. 

"I'd feel better if I knew you were on route. As soon as the ambo gets there I'll track down Jay and have him meet you here," he stated leaving no room for arguments. Will was almost as overprotective as Jay, continually reminding her of his status as soon to be uncle who was also a doctor and knew best. 

Erin sighed and went to grab her bag. She had no fight in her tonight. She was supposed to be relaxing. Apparently the baby never got that memo. 

Erin let the ambulance attendants in, thankful one of them was Brett. Her partner, Dave he'd said his name was, she didn't recognize. Alfie had been pacing the apartment since she'd called Will, likely picking up on Erin's own anxiety. When Dave sat next to Erin to take her blood pressure Alfie lost it barking and growling. Erin tried to calm him, yelled at him to go lay down, even tried to move him out of the way but no way was he going to let Dave touch Erin. Dave panicked, apparently he was terrified of dogs. Had Erin known she would have locked Alfie in the other room before she let Dave in the apartment. At the sight of such a large dog becoming aggressive he stood quickly, backing away and yelling for Erin to call the dog off. This hightened Alfie's anxiety. Brett and Erin tried to tell Dave to relax, act calm but he was genuinely scared. 

"I'm calling animal control," he said fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

"No!" Erin yelled, "you can't do that!" The room was chaotic with yelling and barking, Erin becoming more upset, upsetting the dog further. Dave, refusing to listen, bolted from the apartment phone to his ear, Alfie chasing him as far as the door. Years later when she'd tell this story with a chuckle Erin would admit that had she been calm Alfie would have likely calmed quicker and the whole mess would have been avoided. 

"Erin?" Jay called from the doorway. "What the hell is going on?" He asked coming into the apartment and seeing her and Brett sitting on the couch, Brett checking her out. 

"Oh Jay, he called anima control, they're gonna come and take Alfie! You have to stop him!" She wailed. 

Jay, torn between assisting Erin and running after the attendant stood unsure of what to do. 

"Erin's okay, physically," Brett said, "you get her to the hospital, she's refusing to go in the ambo. I'll take care of my partner. Don't worry," she assured Erin. "It will all be okay."

Erin thanked her and stood, but a crippling pain shot through her abdomen. Brett reached out to steady her. Alfie moved to her other side. 

"Contraction?" Jay asked. 

"Yeah, probably," Brett said. 

"We should go in the ambo then." Jay said decisively. 

"NO! Absolutely not! I'm fine," Erin countered firmly. 

"I'll carry her down." Jay said ignoring Erin. 

"No!" Erin protested. "It's fine. It's the first one. I can walk. And we will drive. Sylvie needs to stop animal control from coming!"

"I'm not arguing with you!" Jay insisted scooping her up. Brett opened the apartment door and Alfie slipped past Jay into the hall. A few more stressful moments passed as they all tried to coax the dog back into the apartment, but he refused to leave Erin. Another contraction ripped through Erin and she lost her patience. "It's fine Jay, just bring him in the car, he won't be able to get out, we can call someone to take him home once we get there."

Brett helped Jay down with the bag, dog and Erin, helped them in the car then rushed off to deal with her partner. 

"What are we gonna do?" Erin stressed. "What if he did call animal control. What if they take him? Oh god Jay, they don't take complaints like that lightly, especially when it's a big dog like Alfie," she continued. 

Jay had no idea what was going to happened but he knew he had to calm Erin down so he tried to reassure her it would all be fine. 

Will met them in the hospital parking lot with a wheelchair. Alfie, unable to get out of the backseat of the car, barked and whined like crazy as the boys helped Erin into the hospital. 

"We can't leave him like that!" She'd complained. Jay wanted to point out that it had been her idea to bring the dog but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. 

"Don't worry," Will reassured her, "once you're inside and out of his sight I'll take care of him." Erin visibly relaxed and Jay almost forgave Will for the weeks of teasing he'd endured over the doll. 

An hour later Will popped his head into the delivery room. Erin's contractions progressed surprisingly quickly and she was admitted, they expected the baby before sunrise. 

"Alfie?" Erin asked as soon as she saw Will. 

"Napping in the doctors lounge," Will said. 

"He's in the hospital?" Jay asked astonished. "You still have a job?"

Will chuckled, "it took a bit of fancy talking but yeah, it's all good. I'm done my shift in a bit and I'll run him home for you then." 

"What about animal control?" Erin asked, still worried. 

"Brett popped by to make sure you got in okay and said to let you know the call was never made," Will reassured her. 

Erin sighed in relief. "Thank you, and tell Brett the same if she comes back in before you leave." 

Will stayed and helped Erin through a few contractions , giving Jay a few minutes to refuel before Will returned to work. 

Three hours later he was back upstairs cradling his new nephew in his arms. 

"So what are we calling this little slugger?" Will asked, smiling proudly at his nephew. 

"Nathan," Erin said sleepily as she snapped a picture of them with her phone from her bed. 

"Well it's nice to meet you Nate!" Will cooed at the baby. 

/

If you asked Erin the doll had worked out perfectly. Jay on the other hand knew Alfie deserved more credit than that. After Erin gave birth and settled in for a few hours sleep from their long night Jay popped home to shower and take the dog to the district. Platt had insisted on watching him until they were home from the hospital. 

After his shower Jay sat on the floor and rubbed the dogs belly. It was time for a little talk, man to man. 

"What the hell was that last night?" Jay asked the dog. Alfie's ears flattened and he looked cautiously at Jay, sensing trouble. "You realize you could have gotten yourself thrown in jail for acting like that? Since when don't you listen to your mom? I mean I know she's been acting a bit crazy lately but you can't be carrying on like that once Nate comes home." Jay gently scolded the dog. Alfie tilted he head more to the right so Jay could scratch his jaw better. 

"Look," Jay began, "This is pretty strange and new and scary for all of us. I've no idea what to expect or what kind of dad I'm gonna be and I know your mom is nervous as hell. But Nate is coming home tomorrow whether or not we're ready so I really just need you to be cool with it okay? Can you do that for me? For your mom? Because she's been through enough and I really just need her to have something go perfectly for her right now." Jay pleaded with the dog. 

Alfie lifted his head off the floor and looked at Jay for a moment before nudging his hand to keep rubbing him. 

Jay laughed, "so glad we had this talk and understand each other," he said. "Clearly I need some sleep if I expected to have an actual conversation with a dog," he said self deprecatingly. Last night had been the scariest and most wonderful night of his life and he was completely exhausted. 

But when they brought Nathan home the next day Alfie was perfect. He was clearly excited to see Erin and curious about what was squirming in the baby carrier but he sat calmly, aside from his thumping tail, when asked and waited for Erin to get situated on the couch with the baby before coming over to thoroughly inspect his car seat. He then smelled and licked at Nate's toes when Erin showed him the baby before settling at her feet while she fed Nate. 

It would become the norm. If you wanted to find Nate, just look for the huge dog laying on the floor and you'd be sure to see him. Alfie followed and watched over Nate constantly. At first Alfie would lay close by, keeping watch over the tiny infant. When he slept at night the dog would lay across his doorway. When Nate learned to crawl Alfie lay patiently as the boy climbed up and over him, pulling on his ears or tail. When he learned to walk, or run rather, Erin never could remember a time when Nate wasn't going at warp speed, Alfie would run ahead leading the way as Nate giggled behind. When Nate was upset Alfie would appear and let Nate bury his face in his soft fur until he felt better. Jay got his boyhood wish watching his son and dog become best friends.

"See," Erin said one day when Nate was about eighteen months, "that doll worked wonders!"

Jay looked down at the little boy holding his hand. They were on their way to the store for a treat, Nate had insisted he didn't need to ride in the stroller, he was a big boy and could walk the dog, so he'd said, and took the leash from Jay's hand. Alfie walked obediently beside him. 

As usual Jay just nodded at Erin. There were some things you just let Erin Lindsay believe she was right about, especially if you enjoyed sleeping in your own bed. 

/

Alfie followed Nate over the the wooden slat play bridge to the slide. And then he sat patiently as Nate sat and situated himself at the top of the slide. 

"Ready Daddy?" The three year old called down to Jay below. 

"Ready buddy," Jay called up. 

"Three, two, one blastoff!" he screeched and launched himself down into Jay's waiting arms. Alfie followed once Jay scooped Nate and tossed him in the air making the boy giggle before setting him down so he could repeat the process all over again. 

"Did you see Mommy, did you see?" He called to Erin who had opted to rest her swollen ankles and aching back on the bench. Baby number two, a girl they'd found out, may have been a surprise (who needed birth control when you couldn't get pregnant on your own?) but she certainly was good at not letting Erin forget she was due to arrive any day. 

"I saw baby!" Erin called to her dare devil of a son, "you were super fast that time!" 

Nate beamed with pride and took off for the stairs, Alfie in tow. 

Jay turned to look at Erin, she looked tired, their daughter not letting her find more than a minute or two of comfort at a time, but happy. "You doing okay?" He asked. 

"Yeah, let them burn off some energy, maybe he'll nap and then we can too," Erin said hopeful. 

Jay nodded, at three years old Nate was in full on protest of afternoon naps but Erin was determined to get a few more months out of him while she adjusted to life with a new baby again. 

They wandered back towards home when Nate finally let out a few yawns. As they walked up the front step Erin still couldn't believe they'd bought this place. She loved her little condo but when they found out baby number two was on the way they knew there'd be no way they could live comfortably there. So Jay had suggested turning it into an income property to help fund their retirement, and pay for the two kids they were apparently now going to be putting through college, and they went house hunting. 

There were still a few boxes lining the front hall to unpack before Sara, yes they'd already named her Erin could only handle so many surprises, arrived but Jay had promised to take care of that before the weekend was out. 

"Feel like laying down for a bit buddy?" Jay asked Nate hoping to corral him upstairs. 

"No!" No nap!"

"What if we let Alfie lay down with you?" Erin bargained. Jay knew Erin was exhausted when she'd pulled that out, she was still pretty firm on the no dog in the bed rule. 

Nate tipped his head to the side. "Can it be your and Daddy's bed?" He asked in his sweetest tone. 

Erin was so desperate to lay down she decided not to pick a battle and risk getting Nate wound up again. She could nap on the couch in peace just as well. 

"Sure sweetie."

"Will you and Daddy come too?"

"Sure, why not," Jay answered without looking at Erin much to her frustration. 

"And can we watch a movie?" And there it was. Just like that Nate had talked his way out of a nap. 

Erin sighed, well laying in bed was better than nothing. "Sure buddy," she relented. 

They climbed the stairs and got situated in bed, Nate cocooned between Jay and Erin, Alfie delighted he was allowed to curl up on their feet. About fifteen minutes in to Nate's favourite kids movie Erin glanced down to see him sound asleep. Jay's eyes were also closed and Alfie was long since snoring, enjoying the comfort and warmth of the bed. She muted the tv and ran her free hand across her belly, snuggling down and closing her eyes. 

If you'd asked her five years ago where she saw herself in this moment, this would have been the last thing she would have pictured. But she could clearly see now that the day they'd found that frightened little pup had been a huge milestone for her. Alfie had somehow helped her heal and open to experiences she never thought she wanted, never thought she deserved. 

Erin wasn't naive enough to believe in happily ever after. She knew there would be plenty of hard days ahead for their little family but she knew they'd weather them together, because she knew they loved each other right. 

-THE END-


End file.
